


Lips of An Angel

by Thraceadams



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adultery, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-23
Updated: 2011-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-23 21:10:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thraceadams/pseuds/Thraceadams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam and Tommy have been best friends since they were kids.  But everything changes the night before Tommy's wedding and it takes a tragic accident five years later to finally put everything into perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers/Archive:** These people are NOT mine. Adam is his own Glittery self and Tommy is just too presh for words. I'm not making any profit, I'm only doing this for fun. We are active duty military living in base housing and therefore have NO money, so please don't sue.

So I have many people to thank for their help with this. First my hubs for putting up with my whining. My kid for letting Mommy have lots of computer time. Thank you to [](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=maggy_97)[**maggy_97**](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=maggy_97) for the fantastic prompt. Thank you to [](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=wynkat1313)[**wynkat1313**](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=wynkat1313) for her beta work, POV pokes, and keeping me in line. And last but most certainly not least, THANK YOU SO MUCH to my beta and awesome friend [](http://buttononthetop.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**buttononthetop**](http://buttononthetop.dreamwidth.org/) \- she polishes everything up and makes my writing shiny. THANK YOU BB *smishes front and back*

Any mistakes you find are purely mine.

I would ask that this not be archived anywhere other than my LJ and DW. If you wish to archive it elsewhere, please ask. This is a fictional story about real people. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT tweet them a link to this, tweet their friends or relatives a link to this, or in any other way let them know this fic even exists. If you would like to make one copy for your own personal use, that is fine, please do not redistribute, copy, or in any way claim as your own.

PLEASE DO NOT LINK/COPY/SHARE/WHATEVER THIS ANYWHERE. THANK YOU.

Link to the Art Master Post by [glowstickfandom](http://glowstickfandom.livejournal.com/11358.html) \- she made a lovely illustration of one of my favorite scenes.

Link to the Art Master Post by [qafmaniac](http://qafmaniac.livejournal.com/141910.html) \- who made my gorgeous story header, a banner, a wallpaper, and a fanmix that is full of songs I listened to while I was writing.

Please go give them some love they did some AMAZING art for this.

  
  


****

Part One

Adam sat on his deck drinking soda and Jack, listening to his wind chimes. He closed his eyes as the soft wind ruffled his hair. He shifted his legs a bit further apart, stretching them out, trying to relax a bit. He leaned his head back, resting it on the chair. He huffed out a sigh and couldn’t help the moan that slipped out with it.

“Tommy,” he whispered.

He stared resolutely at the darkening sky, ignoring the tears sliding down his face. The newspaper lay in a crumpled ball at his feet, Tommy and Kara mocking him with their smiles. Angrily, he kicked at the newspaper, sending it scuttling away into the sand. Deep down he knew they weren’t mocking him. They were his best friends and he loved both of them more than life itself, but that small blurb in the society page of the local paper was just too much.

It talked about how Tommy was a professor at the local community college and Kara was a successful travel agent, and of course how they'd been happily married for five years. It also had the obligatory mention of the year they graduated from high school and where they'd gone to college. It was a nice blurb, just made him think about what he couldn't have. Tommy had called him that morning to warn him, something about Kara’s mom and how excited she was over their five year wedding anniversary.

He winced as he took another sip of the drink, stared at the dark colored liquid for a moment before hurling the glass and its contents against the wind chimes in the tree. Even the resulting crash didn’t give him any satisfaction. He hated whiskey, the only reason he kept it in the house was because it was Tommy’s favorite. He clenched his hand into a fist and pounded it on his leg. Getting this angry was stupid. He and Tommy had agreed and Adam had thought he would be okay with the little pieces of Tommy that he got to share but it got harder every year. That stupid article was like rubbing salt into his wounds.

He took a deep breath and stood up. Sitting and brooding was doing nothing to improve his mood. He knew the fact that he’d recently broken up with yet another boyfriend wasn’t helping any.

He stalked into the house, heading for his car keys. He thought about going to Sutan’s place but there were too many memories there, even if it would be nice to spend some time with his friend. He rarely went to the club anymore, not since…that night. He and Sutan hung out other places, but Sutan and his boyfriend had a dog that adored Adam so mostly he went over to their place. But he knew Sutan would be out – actually Sutan would be Raja and headlining at the club tonight.

He dropped down into the bucket seat of his sleek black Mustang convertible and decided maybe he’d just go for a drive up the coast with the top down. The PCH was always good when he needed to think. Something about the power of that Mustang underneath him and the wind around him as he wound through those curves by the ocean always seemed to clear his head. It especially helped when he was stumped by a design he was working on, or a floor plan that just wasn't working.

He was rounding one of those curves in Malibu when he saw the oncoming lights cross the center line. There was no place for him to go.

He slammed on the brakes and spun the wheel frantically hoping he’d end up on the shoulder on the other side. He threw his hands up to cover his face at the last second, never hearing the impact, just the sound of his own voice yelling, “Tommy!”

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

“Adam you’ve got to be kidding me!” Tommy exclaimed staring up at the bright red neon sign in the shape of a pair of lips. “I’m not going in there!”

Adam wrapped his arm around the neck of his friend. “Oh, yes you are, everyone is waiting.”

“Wait, you got the guys to agree to this? To hang out at a drag club?”  
“Yup and tonight is auction night.” Adam smiled at him smugly.

“Auction night?” Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yup, they auction off eligible bachelors for the evening. The money goes to charity and we'll tell the winner that you’re getting married tomorrow. Okay?”

“Are you kidding me?! No way, you fucker!” Tommy screeched.

“Oh, relax. The money goes to charity. All that’s being auctioned off is the chance to have a quiet drink with you in a secluded corner.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Adam just laughed, grabbed his wrist, and dragged him to the door completely bypassing all the other people standing in the line. He just ignored all the complaints and catcalls and walked toward the bouncer.

“Come on, it’ll be fun. When you're done, we'll go back to my place like we planned, crash, and get up just in time to get you dressed and to the church on time. Please?”

Tommy looked at him for a moment and then nodded. Adam smiled and pulled him closer to the bouncer, ignoring the way it made his heart flutter when Tommy went pliant in his grip and just followed along right behind him. Adam greeted the bouncer at the door who smiled.

“Is this the lucky man?”

“Not sure lucky is the right word," Tommy grumbled.

The bouncer gave Tommy a good once over and smiled. “Yup, some lucky bastard is going to get to spend some quality time with him tonight, so yeah, I’d call them both lucky.”

Adam shot him a wide grin, the arm around Tommy’s shoulders tightening a bit possessively. “I would agree.”

The bouncer grinned wolfishly at them and stood aside, letting them in.

Adam pulled Tommy through the door, letting the driving beat of the music wash over both of them. He glanced at the stage and was pleased to see a familiar face performing. He caught her eye and nodded, she winked back at him without missing a cue.

“You know her?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, she’s been here a long time. Her name’s Lacey.”

“How come you never brought me here?” Tommy asked.

Adam shrugged. “Don’t know. Never thought this was your type of place, I guess.”

“And now you do?” Tommy flashed him a look of surprise.

Adam shrugged again. “Nah, just figured this was your last night of freedom, might as well go out with a bang.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Man, you make it sound like I’m going to prison tomorrow, not getting married.”

“Well, it is your last chance to sow any wild oats you might have left before you tie yourself to Kara forever.”

Tommy looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before his face brightened, his eyes lit up and a smile broke across his face. “Well, then lead the way, help me go sow the last of my wild oats.”

Adam smiled and led him through the club to the VIP section that had been reserved for them. It was close to the stage so they would most definitely be getting some interaction from the performers which Adam always thought was the best part.

“Hey! They’re here!” Dave shouted and got up to wrap Tommy in a hug. “What the fuck did you get me into, man?” he whispered into Tommy’s ear.

Tommy just laughed. “Hey, this wasn’t my idea, besides, Adam said you all agreed to it.”

Dave glanced back at Mike and a few of the others, who raised their drinks to Tommy. “Anything for you, buddy.”

Tommy just snorted and then raised his voice. “So, where’s my drink?”

Within seconds a beer magically appeared in his hand, obtained by Adam. Tommy went to mingle because everyone wanted to spend a few minutes with him and raise a glass in congratulations for his upcoming nuptials. Adam stood a bit off to the side watching Tommy, so engrossed he never noticed Brad take up residence beside him.

“Oh, honey, why didn’t you say something?”

Startled, Adam looked at Brad in confusion.

Brad jerked his head in Tommy’s direction, only to be met by a stony glare from Adam. He just shook his head and took another sip of his drink. “Whatever but it’s written all over your face. A blind man could see you're in love with him.”

Adam glared at him, a myriad of emotions clamoring inside him, resignation finally winning out. Resolutely, he took another swallow of his drink. “Doesn’t matter. He’s not into guys and he’s gettin’ married tomorrow. To Kara. End of story.”

“How do you know he’s not into guys? Have you ever asked him?”

“What? No. NO! He’s just always dated girls. Well, Kara. I mean, yes, sometimes I've felt this weird tension between us but it's not… I mean, he’s just really affectionate, physically, I mean.”

Brad rolled his eyes and gave Adam that look that always made him feel like he was probably the stupidest person on the planet. “Maybe he just hasn’t found the right man. Or **maybe** he has, but the right man hasn’t made the right moves… **yet**.”

Adam shifted angrily. “I’m not going to put the moves on my best friend, my **straight** best friend. I’d rather have him as just my friend than nothing at all.”

Brad sighed, shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself. I think you’re wasting what could possibly be your last chance. You know my motto.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Your motto?”

Brad smiled at him cheekily. “Spaghetti is only straight until it hits hot water and you, my friend, are hot water boiling over and more than ready to bend the hell out of his straight. Just saying.”

Adam turned back to stare at Tommy, Brad’s words echoing through his ears as he watched Tommy hug another one of his friends in greeting.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Adam hurt all over.

He opened his eyes and all he could make out were light and blurry shapes and some flashing red and blue lights. For a brief moment he had no idea where he was and then it all came slamming back to him. Tommy. Kara. Five year anniversary. Driving. Someone crashing into him. Then the blinding pain in his head started and he moaned.

He tried to grab his head but couldn’t move his right hand so he tried with his left. His face was wet and sticky and he pulled his hand away only to find it covered completely in blood. “Oh, God!” he cried out. “Somebody help me!” He yelled until his voice was raw.

He heard a voice somewhere off in the distance and he could smell gasoline and see flames flickering in the distance as well. He could only hope the gasoline wasn’t leaking from his car and the flames weren’t headed this way.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he tried to move and pain shot though him like a star exploding inside him.

Everything hurt. Even his hair hurt, although he was pretty sure that was just from the cut on his head. His mouth was dry and he could feel his stomach starting to heave. He swallowed hard, trying hard not to lose the contents of his stomach. In this position not only would he get it all over himself, but he probably would choke on it.

“Hey, buddy, where are you hurt?”

Adam looked out through the open window, struggling to get his eyes to focus. Suddenly, he realized that must have been the voice he heard. He tried to smile at the man in the uniform staring back at him, but only managed a grimace. Regardless, relief washed over him. “My head, I hit my head and my leg, it's stuck.”

“How about your chest?”

Adam shifted to look down and saw the steering wheel pressed up against his chest, the air bag deflated around it and suddenly he felt pain blossom in his rib cage. “My ribs, they feel broken, my chest hurts pretty bad.”

The uniformed guy nodded and spoke into his walkie talkie and then turned back to Adam. “Okay, buddy, what’s your name?”

“Adam.”

“Okay, Adam. I’ve got some help coming over. I want you to keep talking to me, okay. Is there someone we can call? Do you have a cell phone with you?”

Adam nodded and his head exploded in pain. “Tommy,” he muttered as the world went black around him.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

The auction didn’t start until much later in the night. Some of Tommy’s friends had already left and Tommy was again pleading with Adam not to make him do it but Adam just smiled and pushed him up onto the stage and then positioned himself in the best seat in the house – front and center.

He barely noticed as the auction got underway, ignoring all the other men as they were paraded across the stage one by one. He only had eyes for Tommy. He'd disappeared backstage for a bit, but then Adam could see him standing just off stage waiting for his turn and when it came and he was brought out onto the stage, the crowd went silent, just as Adam knew they would.

He looked up at Tommy and he would swear his heart stopped. Sutan had obviously gotten a hold of Tommy. His hair wasn’t exactly curled but it was softened, so that it curved just a bit around his face. His eyes were darkly outlined with kohl and, as Tommy got closer to the front of the stage, Adam could see glitter outlining his eyebrows and underneath his lids. His cheeks had a hint of pink to them and his lips shined with a sparkly lip gloss that Adam longed to lick right off.

He swallowed hard and listened as the bidding began, ignoring the catcalls of Tommy’s roommates. His whole focus was on Tommy. Sutan caught his eye from his place just off stage, giving him that stern look that he knew all too well, but he just ignored his friend and stared at Tommy. The bidding was a bit slow to start, apparently Sutan's explanation that a quiet drink was the only thing on offer had dampened the crowd's enthusiasm.

Adam raised his hand, raising the bid just a bit. He smiled encouragingly at Tommy who shot him a surprised look. He just shrugged and went back to listening to the bids.

Tommy started getting into it, winking at the bidders, giving them little waves when they raised their bids. Eventually, there were two bidders who kept raising against each other and Adam was sure Tommy was going to be spending the evening with one of them.

He was suddenly gripped with a pang of sharp jealousy. He didn't want Tommy to be sitting with either of the two guys who were bidding. He wanted Tommy to be sitting with him. He raised his hand increasing the bid again. Tommy whipped his head around and shot Adam a WTF? look. Adam just winked at Tommy and tried not to panic about what he was doing.

One of the two bidders dropped out, leaving just Adam and a blonde guy who kept glaring at him. Adam decided he'd had enough. He raised his hand and blurted out his next bid without any thought in his head except winning Tommy. “One thousand dollars.”

Tommy’s head whipped around again and he actually mouthed the words this time. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Adam fought the blush he could feel creeping up his cheeks and mouthed back, “Winning you,” as if it made all the sense in the world.

Tommy just stared back at him as the auctioneer declared Adam the winner. Sutan came running onstage from where he'd been watching in the wings and escorted Tommy off the stage to a raucous amount of applause.

Adam ignored the noise as he started digging out his checkbook, his hands trembling a bit as he made out a check. He could see Sutan and Tommy talking just off stage and it made his heart pound just a bit faster.

~*~*~

Adam grabbed Sutan as soon as he came down off the stage, “What did he say? What did you say? What the fuck did I just do?”  
Sutan clucked his tongue. “Sweetie, calm down. First, you just told him in a big way how much he means to you. You’ve really kept this under wraps, haven’t you?” Sutan fixed him with a pointed glare. “It's quite obvious he had no idea you were this into him. The boy was completely clueless. He’s worried you can’t afford it and then, yeah, I did make him think about the fact that you just spent a thousand dollars to have a drink with him tonight.”

Adam rubbed a hand over his face. He looked up at Sutan, misery etched on his face. “What the fuck did I just do?” he asked again.

Sutan rubbed a hand over his shoulder. “Honey, it’s going to be okay. You just need to sit and talk with him, and for a generous donation to a very worthy charity, you just got it. And now’s your chance,” he whispered, turning Adam around to see Tommy heading his way, a hesitant smile on his lips.

As soon as Adam saw the smile on Tommy’s face, tentative though it was, it made a good portion of his nerves go away. Sutan squeezed his shoulder and walked off. Adam rubbed his hands on his jeans and waited anxiously until Tommy reached him.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Adam frowned. Someone was yelling at him and everything hurt. He winced when he felt a hand slap his face lightly.

“Hey, Adam. Adam, I need you to wake up. Adam. ADAM!”

“Five more minutes, just five more minutes.”

“No, I need you to wake up now. Adam!”

Adam frowned again and opened his eyes, suddenly remembering where he was. He blinked and blearily glanced up at the paramedic who had been talking to him before. He had such a look of relief on his face that Adam had to ask about it.

“Are you okay?”

The paramedic laughed, one of those stress relieving laughs. “Yeah, now that you’re back with me. Look, your legs are pinned. They’re going to use the Jaws of Life to get you out, so I need you to hang in there for me. Are you feeling okay? How’s your breathing?”

Adam took a deep breath, grimacing when his chest exploded in pain. “Hurts to breathe too deep."

“Okay, well, I managed to get the laceration on your scalp to stop bleeding. You’ve got a bandage on it now and be careful of your left arm. I started an IV while you were out and I’m giving you some fluids.” He turned to look around as some firemen came up behind him.

He turned back to Adam.

“Okay, they’re here with the Jaws, I’m going to cover you with a blanket. It’ll help keep you warm and keep you from getting injured further. I’m going to be right here, talking you through this, okay? You let me know if anything changes in how you feel. If you get dizzy or weak or feel like you’re going to pass out or get sick or something okay?”

Adam nodded and glanced at the floor of the car when his cell phone started to ring. He recognized the strains of 20th Century Boy and knew it was Tommy.

“Is that your cell phone?”

“I can’t reach it. It’s – it’s Tommy,” he said, sinking into the blackness again.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

Adam watched as Tommy made his way over to him and wondered how the fuck he was going to explain spending a thousand dollars to have a drink with him.

“Hey,” Tommy said softly.

Adam smiled. “Hey.”

“I can’t believe you did that.”

Adam shrugged. “You’re worth it.”

Tommy's cheeks flushed pink at the praise and he ducked his head, looking up at Adam through his eyelashes. “No, I’m not.”

Adam gently tilted his chin up with his finger, forcing Tommy to look at him. “Yes, you are. You’re worth every single penny. Now I think you owe me a quiet drink in a secluded corner someplace.”

Tommy smiled at him then and Adam took his hand and led him to the table Sutan had set aside for them. They sat down and within moments Sutan himself was delivering drinks to the table. “You two talk as long as you want, I’ll make sure the drinks keep coming, on the house, of course.” He smiled reassuringly at Tommy and winked discreetly at Adam before making himself scarce.

“So, um, why didn’t you tell me Sutan was the owner?”

Adam threw his head back in laughter.

“That’s your first question? Um, it never came up?” Adam shrugged,  
taking a sip of his drink. “Like I said before, just didn’t think this type of place was your thing.”

“Okay, fair enough. Now, why did you pay a thousand dollars just to talk to me?”

Adam shifted in his seat again, staring across the table right into the chocolate brown of Tommy’s eyes. “I…I couldn't stand the thought of you sitting here with someone else."

Tommy stared at him for a long moment. “You what?” he whispered.

Adam lowered his head, willing the blush he could feel heating up his face to stop and cursing his fair but freckled complexion. Embarrassed, he stared at his hands, unable to raise his eyes to meet Tommy’s gaze. “I thought I could do it, but I just…I wanted to be the one to spend the night – the evening, I mean – with you,” he whispered.

Tommy sat back in his chair, a look of amazement on his face. “Wow. Wow.”

He got up from his chair, walked over and wrapped his arms around Adam’s shoulders. “I can't believe you did that for me,” he whispered into Adam’s ear.

Adam tightened his arms around Tommy instinctively and Tommy melted right into his embrace, making his heart skip a beat. It was always like this with them. Whenever they got physically close, Tommy would lean against him, almost cuddling. He’d never really thought about it until tonight, until now when he felt Tommy’s nose nuzzling into his neck and felt his lips place a barely there kiss on his skin.

Adam stiffened at the kiss, wondering if he’d really felt that but Tommy didn’t seem to notice. He just repeated the action and then pulled away, going back to sit in his own seat.

Tommy sat back, his glass in his hand. “So, you paid quite a bit of money to talk to me, something on your mind?”

Adam stared at him in shock. Tommy had just kissed him. Twice. On the neck. And now he was acting as if it were nothing. Maybe it was. Maybe Adam had imagined it. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d had a daydream about his best friend.

He shook his head trying to clear it and tried desperately to come up with some intelligent topic of conversation, other than the fact that he would give anything to grab Tommy up, carry him out of this bar, take him back to his place and fuck him into the mattress. _No, scratch that,_ Adam thought. He wanted to make love to him until he was so blissed out that he couldn't even remember his own name.

“So, what’s Kara doing tonight?”

Tommy smiled. “She’s at her bachelorette party with her girlfriends. I think they were taking her to some all male revue.”

Adam laughed, feeling himself relax a bit. Whatever had happened, the moment seemed to have passed and the tension was easing. They made small talk for quite a while, talking about Kara and the wedding, the honeymoon, their jobs, their families. At some point they scooted closer until they were sitting right next to each other, Adam’s arm slung across the back of Tommy’s chair and Tommy resting his head on Adam’s shoulder.

“I’m scared man,” Tommy admitted softly.

“What?”

“I’m scared. What if I fuck this up?”

Adam turned to look at Tommy. “What are you talking about? Fuck this up. I’ve never seen anyone as much in love as you and Kara.”

Tommy stared at him, those dark brown eyes boring into him with an intensity that made his heart beat just a tiny bit faster. “What if this changes things between us?” he whispered.

“Oh baby, you and Kara have been together forever. A slip of paper and a promise in front of everyone who loves you isn’t going to change that.”

“No, no.” Tommy huffed out a sigh in frustration. Adam watched as he pushed the blond fringe off his forehead. Tommy’s eyes dropped to his lap and he took a deep breath. “I wasn’t talking about Kara,” he said gruffly. “I – I was talking about us. What if this changes things between us?”

Adam’s heart leapt into his throat. The thought of things changing between them made him feel sick with dread. “You getting married doesn’t mean we’ll stop being friends,” he answered gruffly.

He looked away from Tommy, taking a sip of his drink before turning back to his friend. Tommy was looking at him, something in his eyes Adam had never really seen before.

Tommy sighed again. “You paid a thousand dollars to spend time with me, Adam, you wouldn’t have spent that much money if we were just going to hang like we normally do.”

“Fuck, what did Sutan say to you?”

Adam watched as the pink hue to Tommy's cheeks deepened. “Nothing. Mostly what I just said to you. He sorta pointed out that you would only spend that kind of money if this was something important.” He turned in his chair so he was looking straight into Adam’s face.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he whispered.

Adam swallowed hard, his heart in his throat and his stomach threatening to lose everything he’d eaten that night. He couldn’t meet Tommy’s gaze and he looked away, feeling his face heat up. He felt Tommy’s hand grasp his chin and turn his head, forcing him to look at him.

“Look at me Adam,” he said firmly. “Did you think it would scare me off?”  
Adam’s jaw clenched as he tried to think of the right words. “It would most straight men. If their gay best friend came to them and said they had a crush on them, yeah, most straight men would run for the hills.”

“Is that all it is, a crush?”

Adam looked at him in surprise and Tommy’s mouth quirked up in a little smile. “You should know by now, I’m not most straight men. Fuck, Adam, I was one of the first people you told when you figured out you were gay. How could you think I'd run?”

Adam hung his head, feeling shame color his face now.

“Telling you I’m gay is one thing, telling you I have feelings for you like that is something completely different.” Adam sighed. “Look, I know you don’t feel that way, I’m supposed to be the best man at your wedding tomorrow. So, I know the score, you don’t have to let me down easy. I never meant to tell you. I should never have come up with this stupid auction idea. I just thought it would be something fun to do on your last night and there’s usually some really hot girls here on auction night. They figure it’s their only chance to spend time with the hot gay guys so they pay good money for it. But then that guy started bidding on you and I just – I just couldn’t let you go spend time with someone else.”

Tommy looked up at him in surprise.

“Yeah, it was a little bit about keeping you from having to do something that would make you uncomfortable but it was more about me not wanting anyone else to have you.”

Adam watched Tommy, could almost see the thoughts churning inside his head as he chewed his finger nail. “I love you, Tommy Joe, you’ve been my best friend since grade school. And I want to stay best friends forever rather than let my stupid crush get in the way of that. Please?”

He watched as Tommy considered for a moment and knew the instant his friend made a decision.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

“No! NO! Adam, stay with me. Stay with me, buddy!”

Adam tried to move the hand that was shaking his shoulder but his arm was trapped and it hurt too fucking much to move and what the fuck was that loud noise? He opened his eyes once again to stare into the relieved gaze of the paramedic who was still standing next to the car. He blinked and looked around, realizing that the god-awful noise was the Jaws prying him out of his mangled car.

“I need you to stay with me, okay?” The paramedic shook him gently again. “Okay?”

“Okay, okay. What’s your name?”

“Ben, my name’s Ben. Who’s Tommy?”

“He’s , he’s my…” Adam’s voice trailed off. What was Tommy to him? His best friend, the other half of his soul?

“Don’t worry about it. Whoever he is, you must be pretty important to him because your phone won’t stop ringing.”

As if on cue, the strains of 20th Century Boy echoed faintly, barely audible over the Jaws. Adam reached for the phone, straining his arm until Ben held him back. “We’ll get it, man, as soon as we get you free we’ll get the phone for you, okay?”

Adam shook his head, feeling helpless tears trickle down his face. Ben squeezed his shoulder. “Looks like he’s pretty important to you, too.”

All Adam could do was nod as the Jaws of Life suddenly released the pressure on his legs and feeling flooded back into them causing his world to explode in pain. He looked down to see a dark stain growing rapidly on his pants. He turned to look at Ben with fear etched on his face.

“Ben?” he whimpered as the darkness threatened to swallow him again.

“Adam! Adam! ADAM! NO!”

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

“No.”

Adam’s heart clenched and his stomach heaved. “What?” he whispered.

“No.” Tommy leaned forward until he was almost in Adam’s lap, their faces inches apart. “What if… what if I have a crush, too?” He asked and pressed their lips together, sliding all the way into Adam's lap.

Adam felt Tommy’s lips against his and it was like an electric jolt to his system that immobilized him with shock. He remained like that until Tommy pulled back, doubt and fear in his eyes.

“Adam? Was – was it not good?”

A bubble of nervous laughter slipped past Adam’s lips and Tommy’s face went red. He climbed off Adam’s lap and went to get back into his own chair but Adam’s hand on his wrist stopped him. He turned back to look at Adam, his face full of hurt and rejection.

“Wait, can we – please –” Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Can you come back, please?”

Tommy looked at him, looking thoughtful for a moment and then nodded.

“I'm sorry, I'm just, this is kind of a surprise that's all.”

Tommy let Adam pull him back down until he was sitting completely in his lap this time. Adam wrapped his arms around him and Tommy buried his face in Adam’s shirt.

“What are we doing, Tommy Joe?” he whispered against his hair.

“I don’t know,” Tommy mumbled. “I don’t know.”

Adam tightened his arms around him. “Why don’t we go ahead and get out of here?" He looked around. "Most of your friends are gone, no reason we need to stay anymore. Let's head back to my place. I rented a bunch of those crap horror movies you like and there’s beer in the fridge."

Tommy looked at Adam, questions in his eyes. Adam shrugged.

“I figured you might have trouble getting to sleep tonight, so I stocked up”

“Thanks.” Tommy said, a soft smile on his lips.

“Okay, so a movie, or we could maybe talk?”

Tommy nodded against his chest and Adam kissed the top of his head. Tommy slid off his lap and turned back to look at him. Adam smiled, grabbed Tommy’s hand and led him toward the front. Sutan was there waiting for them. He quirked an eyebrow in question, looking pointedly at their joined hands and miming for Adam to call him. Adam nodded.

“Bye, Sutan,” Tommy called out as they passed. Sutan blew him a kiss and smiled gently at Adam.

Adam pulled them out into the night air, leading Tommy to his car. He opened the passenger door and Tommy got inside as he jogged over to the driver’s side of the car. It was a good thing he lived fairly close because the silence in the car on the drive there was oppressive.

After they arrived, Tommy grabbed Adam's hand again as they walked to the house and Adam took a deep breath as they stood outside the door, knowing deep down inside that whatever happened tonight was going to fundamentally change things between them. He could only hope it was for the better.  
Adam stuck his key in the lock and opened the door, letting them inside.

Adam turned to look at Tommy. “Want a drink?”

Tommy shook his head and took a step closer to him. He moved forward until he was mere inches away from Adam. He looked up, meeting that blue-eyed gaze unflinchingly.

“A-Adam,” he stuttered out.

Adam stared at him, recognized the look of need and desire warring with helplessness and uncertainty on his face. He did the only thing he could, he pulled Tommy to him, wrapped his arms tightly around him and gave in to his own desire, kicking the door shut behind them. He crushed their lips together and his cock throbbed when Tommy went pliant and boneless in his arms.

He felt Tommy’s tongue licking at his lips and he opened up to his friend, feeling the tentative thrust of his tongue. He let him explore for a few moments before taking over the kiss and thrusting his tongue back into Tommy’s mouth. Tommy’s hands clenched the back of his shirt, nails digging into his skin through the fabric and a tiny whimper of need escaping Tommy’s throat.

That sound reached Adam’s ear and his brain finally kicked into gear and he pulled back, almost shoving Tommy away from him. “We – we can’t, you’re getting married, we can’t do this.”

He turned away running a hand through his hair in utter frustration.

“I’m sorry Tommy, I never should have done that. I – I promise it won’t happen again,” he whispered brokenly.

“Please, no,” Tommy answered raggedly.

Adam whirled around to look at him. Tommy’s eyes were dark with passion and need, his lips were kiss-swollen, and his skin was flushed. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. Adam took a step forward but Tommy held up his hand forcing him back. Adam waited.

“Don't say it won't happen again. I – I don’t know what I’m doing, Adam,” he whispered. “I’ve – I’ve tried so hard not to feel this way. So fucking hard, you have no idea.” He laughed bitterly. “Or maybe you do.”

He turned, tucking the fringe of his hair out of the way, an unconscious nervous habit that Adam always found endearing. He started to pace.  
“All our lives it's been the three of us – you, me and Kara. And people always thought Kara and I would end up together. But they don't know how I feel about…”

He looked up at Adam with a sheepish expression on his face and Adam knew exactly what he **wasn’t** saying – that people thought Adam was always the third wheel, but they didn't understand that it was never like that with the three of them. Adam loved Kara almost as much as Tommy did. Just not the way that Tommy did.

Adam swallowed hard. “Tommy Joe, I don’t… what are you saying?”

Tommy chewed his lip and Adam was worried he was going to make it bleed.  
He reached his hand out. “Stop doing that, please?” he said softly.

Tommy looked up at him through his long lashes as Adam stroked his thumb over his lip. He turned his face into Adam’s palm and kissed it.

A shiver of desire swept through Adam and he had to bite his own lip to keep it in check. “Tommy?”

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

“Tommy,” he moaned.

“Oh thank God,” Ben exclaimed, grabbing his hand. “I thought we were losing you, but you’re going to be okay. You’re out of the car and on the way to the hospital. I got your phone out of the car, too. This Tommy, you want me to have the hospital call him when we get there?”

Adam tried to nod but he couldn't move his head. He started twitching, trying to see what was happening. He only calmed when Ben put his gloved hand on his forehead.

“Don’t move, Adam. We’ve got you strapped down to a board and the gurney, okay? It’s just a precaution. Your leg was cut in the crash and being trapped by the dash kept you from bleeding out. We're in a helicopter so we'll get you to the hospital as quickly as possible. I just need you to stay still and calm. Understand?”

“Yes,” Adam replied, trying to lick his lips.

Ben grabbed a mouth swab and moistened Adam’s lips, pulling away when he tried to suck. “Uh huh, nothing to drink, sorry. Now, like I said, I was able to grab your cell phone. Who else besides Tommy can we call for you? Is your family nearby?”

Adam licked his lips again in a desperate attempt to get them wet enough to talk. Ben swabbed his mouth again. “My Mom, have Tommy call my Mom, please?”

“We'll get in touch with your mom. Okay, hold on, we’re getting ready to land.”

Adam closed his eyes and mentally braced himself as they landed on the helipad. The next few minutes were a blur as he was taken off the helicopter and into the hospital. He was surrounded by a flurry of activity and within moments Ben was squeezing his shoulder.

“You’re in good hands, Adam. Take care, buddy.”

“Th-” Adam licked his lips again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Adam watched as Ben left and turned his attention to the ceiling and memories of that first night with Tommy, oblivious to the nurses and doctors frantically working on him.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

Tommy clung to him like a spider monkey. They'd had trouble making it past the front door of his house because Tommy wouldn't let him go.

"Nggghh," Adam breathed out, letting his head fall back against the door again as Tommy trailed kisses down his neck. His hands fisted in Tommy's hair as he sucked up a mark right over Adam's pulse point. When it grew to be a hint more pain than pleasure, he tugged back on Tommy's hair pulling him away. "Bedroom, now," he growled.

And then they were by the bed, clothes left in a trail from the front door and Tommy was in his arms, their cocks rubbing together and leaking sticky precome over both of their bellies. Adam scrabbled in the nightstand for lube and a condom, almost toppling Tommy off his lap, completely distracted by the way Tommy was licking his collarbone. But then he was back and pushing a slick finger into Tommy, followed quickly by a second and then a third as Tommy rocked against him.

"Fuck, now Adam," Tommy panted out, his fingers digging into Adam's shoulder blades.

Adam ripped open the condom and then he was pushing into that tight heat and Tommy was biting his shoulder and it was fucking amazing. Tommy wrapped his legs around Adam's waist and they rocked together, Tommy's dick rubbing between their bellies. Adam thrust up into him, hard and fast, Tommy threw his head back, slamming his hips down, groaning in pleasure.

Adam's hands tightened on his hips, pulling him down with every thrust up until he got the angle just right and was hitting his prostate with every stroke.

"Adammm," Tommy whined, shoving a hand in between them and wrapping it around his cock.

Adam could feel him stroking it furiously. "Come on, baby, do it. Come for me."

"Fuck, yes," Tommy cried out, his fist moving faster over his cock until Adam felt the first spurt of warm liquid land on his belly.

Adam fucked him through his orgasm and only when Tommy was leaning heavily against him, floating in an orgasmic haze, did he thrust a bit harder and get himself off.

They sat there, entwined in each other's arms, still connected as they slowly started coming down. Adam pulled back and kissed Tommy's cheek before resting their foreheads together.

"Fuck, that was awesome," Tommy panted.

They stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying the afterglow, just leaning against each other and breathing. When Adam slipped out of Tommy, he got up and went to the bathroom, coming back with a washcloth.  
Silently he cleaned Tommy off, threw the cloth back to the bathroom and then climbed into bed, pulling Tommy with him.

The silence stretched out between them for several long minutes until Tommy started to talk.

"Fuck. I'm getting married in the morning."

Adam tightened his arms around Tommy but remained quiet, knowing Tommy would say more when he was ready.

"What the fuck did we just do?" he whispered. "I love Kara. You love Kara. Fuck, this will kill her."

Adam clenched his jaw. "Tommy, this doesn't have to change anything. Are you ready to give Kara up? Ready to change everything, be with me?"

Tommy bit his lip like he wasn't quite sure what to say.

Adam continued. "This – whatever just happened? It is what it is. We were both curious about what it would be like between us and now we know. You're my best friend, Tommy, and I love you, but I'm not sure it's enough to risk everything."

Tommy shifted, looking Adam in the eye. Adam's face colored and Tommy looked away.

"Okay, I'm selfish enough to wish it was, but really, Tommy do you want to wreck what you and Kara have together. Besides, what will telling Kara accomplish except a lot of unnecessary heartache? And on your wedding day, too." He looked Tommy in the eyes. "Do you love her?"

Tommy nodded.

"Do you love me?"

Tommy nodded again.

"But which of us are you **in** love with?"

Tommy went quiet for a moment, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. "Kara," he said roughly.

Adam smiled. "So, see this can just be a one-time thing. A last fling before your wedding. And hey, it's way better that it was with me than some stripper like at most bachelor parties, right?"

Tommy gave him a weak smile.

"See? It's all good. It'll be our little secret, there's no reason to tell Kara. It'll never happen again and besides, if you tell her she'll probably get pissed and, fuck, she's scary when she's pissed."

Tommy finally laughed. "Yeah, Kara's pretty scary when she's pissed. I'm sorry, Adam. I never meant –"

"Shut up. I just said it all for both of us, okay? I know, Tommy, I know."

Adam pulled him in close and kissed the top of his head. "We should get some sleep, you're getting married tomorrow, you know."

"Yeah," Tommy whispered, smiling sadly against Adam's chest. "I am."

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Tommy frowned as his cell phone rang, the strains of Depeche Mode echoing through his home office. He grabbed the phone and answered it. “Adam? Finally, where the fuck have you been?”

“Hello. Mr. Ratliff?”

Tommy’s heart started to pound. Who would be calling him at this time of night besides Adam?

“Who wants to know?” he asked cautiously.

“My name is Dana, I’m an ER nurse at Cedars-Sinai hospital –”

“What happened?” Tommy blurted out as his heart plummeted to his feet and his dinner threatened to make a very unwelcome reappearance.

“Mr. Lambert was in a car accident. He’s stable but he is on his way to surgery. He asked us to call you.”

“Shit. Shit!” Tommy stood up, almost tipping his laptop over in the process and patting his pockets for his keys. “KARA!” he shouted, his voice ringing through the house.

“Sorry, sorry. Um, okay, um. Cedars Sinai you said?” He looked at his watch, closed his eyes and thought for a second. “Okay, I can be there in thirty minutes. Is he okay? Can I talk to him?”

“No, I’m sorry, His mother is on her way here. The doctor will be giving her a complete update as soon as they know more.

 _Leila, oh fuck, Leila._ “Okay, thank you.”

“Good. When you get here just come through the ER entrance, they can direct you to the right place.”

“Okay, um, is he going to be okay?” Tommy asked quietly over the lump that had formed in his throat. The thought of Adam not being okay was making him ill.

“He’s in the best of hands, Mr. Ratliff. If you want, when you get here, ask for me. My name’s Dana. I’ll make sure you get to the right place. And please, drive carefully.”

“Okay, thank you,” Tommy answered, clicking his phone off.

“KARA!” he called again frantically, wondering where the fuck his keys were.

Kara came running into the room, hair up in a ponytail, face shiny from being freshly washed. “What's the big…" Her voice trailed off as she finally looked at him, took in what could only be a glassy-eyed look of shock, the shine of unshed tears and his face drained of all color. She took a step forward and put a comforting hand on his arm. “What happened?”

“It’s Adam,” he whispered, his voice catching. “He was in a car accident. He’s in the ER right now.”

“Oh, no!” Her hands flew to her face in shock. “Is he –? Oh my God, is he going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, but we need to get to Cedars. Lelia is on her way there now.”

She stared at him for a moment and then snapped into action.

“I’ll drive,” she said softly when he reached for the keys.

He flashed her a look and she smiled gently at him. “Baby, you’re in no condition to drive, your hands are shaking so bad you're about to drop your phone. He’s going to be okay. All right? Let me drive.”

Tommy nodded and mutely followed her down to the garage and out to the car. He stared out the window as they drove thinking about Adam and just how much his friend meant to him.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Twenty-Three Years Earlier_

Tommy Joe looked around nervously as the school secretary walked him into the classroom. He kept his eyes on the floor, only looking around briefly through his lashes every once in a while. The secretary was telling the teacher all about him. Shyly, he darted a quick glance around the room and noticed a little boy and a little girl watching him intently from the back of the room. He dropped his eyes as he felt his face heat up.

Then the secretary was talking to him, telling him that Miss Bamber was going to be his teacher and to be good and to make some new friends. Within moments she was gone. He stared up at Miss Bamber, his lower lip trembling a bit until he bit it and blinked away the warm rush of tears.  
She smiled at him. “I’ve got just the spot for you, Tommy Joe.”

She led him by the hand right back to the table where the little boy and girl who’d been looking at him sat. “Tommy Joe, this is Adam and this is Kara. Adam, Kara, this is Tommy Joe. He’s going to be joining your table today. Adam, why don’t you show him where he can hang his coat and put his lunch box? Kara, why don't you show him where the paints are?”

Adam and Kara both nodded enthusiastically and both spoke to him excitedly at the same time.

“I’m Kara.”

“I’m Adam.”

“Where are you from? Why’d you move here? Were you in kindergarten before?” Kara fired questions at him.

Tommy’s eyes grew wide and felt his face heat up again. “Um, I came from Hawaii. Miss Reynolds was my teacher.”

“Why’d you move here?” Kara impatiently repeated her question.

Tommy stared at her, entranced by her blonde hair and green eyes. “What?”

Adam laughed and Tommy turned to look at him. The smile on Adam’s face was infectious and it felt like it lit up the whole room. His blue eyes sparkled as he repeated Kara’s question. “Why’d you move here?”

“My Daddy got a new job,” Tommy mumbled, trying not to stare at Adam because he’d never seen that many freckles on anyone before.

“Oh. Follow me.” Adam stood up and grabbed Tommy’s hand tugging him over to the coat cubbies. He pointed out an empty one next to his. “You can use this one. It’s right next to mine.” Adam smiled at him, still holding his hand. Tommy smiled back.

He took his jacket off and shoved his lunchbox into the cubbie and let Adam lead him back to the table where Kara was waiting with paints. She shoved them at Tommy. “I got paints for you. We’re ‘posed to be paintin’ animals. Do you have a pet?”

Tommy blinked at her owlishly and Adam laughed again. “Um, no?”

“Oh, too bad. We have a dog and two cats. Adam has a dog, too, but he’s old and don’t like to play. You should get a dog.”

Tommy watched as she went back to painting the rainbow circle on her paper. Adam leaned over and whispered to him. “That’s all she ever paints. Rainbows. Girls,” he sighed, making a face.

For the first time that morning, Tommy’s face split into a grin. He elbowed Adam in the ribs. “Girls.”

Kara looked up and narrowed her eyes as she glared at both of them. Tommy and Adam smiled, trying to look as innocent as possible. She stuck her tongue out and went back to painting her rainbows. Tommy just looked at Adam who shrugged and went back to his paints.

Tommy hunkered down between them and started working on his picture, poking his tongue out in concentration as he did so. He never noticed Adam and Kara both watching him with adoration on their faces. It wasn’t until years later that he would find out that was the moment when they both decided they were smitten with him.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

“Tommy? Tommy?”

“Huh?” He started away from his memories and turned to look at Kara.

“We’re here. Why don’t you run in and I’ll park and be there in a minute. If you get to see him, tell him…” Her lip trembled and her voice broke a bit. “Tell him I love him.”

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “I will,” he whispered and bolted out of the car, already running for the ER entrance. He burst through the doors looking around frantically. As soon as he spotted the front desk he ran over, starting to talk even as he approached.

“I’m Tommy Joe Ratliff and I was told to come in and ask for Dana.”

The aide at the desk smiled apologetically at him and held up a finger as he continued to talk into the phone. It took only a split second for Tommy’s fear and worry to get the best of him. He gripped the counter and bit his lip to try to keep himself from interrupting again. The phone call went on and on and Tommy started to tap his foot distractedly.

"Can you just point Dana out to me?" he whispered loudly.

The aide frowned and held his finger up again. One of the nurses standing behind the desk spoke up. “I’ll go get Dana for you. What did you say your name was?”

He turned to her, relief sliding over his face that someone was finally going to help him. “Tommy Joe Ratliff, she’s expecting me.”

The nurse nodded and disappeared around the corner. Tommy turned away from the desk, running a hand over his face and trying not to let the emotions that were threatening to wash over him take hold. He paced for what felt like forever before he felt a small hand on his shoulder. He spun around to see a short but fierce looking woman with strawberry blonde hair, the kind Adam used to have when they were kids, before he'd started dyeing it black. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes filled up with tears.

“Mr. Ratliff?”

He nodded unable to speak.

She smiled gently. “I’m Dana, I was just about to meet with Mr. Lambert’s mother. Why don’t you come with me. If she says it's okay, I can explain the situation to you both at the same time.”

Tommy ran his hand through his hair and nodded in understanding. "Yeah, um, okay. Thanks."

She put her arm around his waist and led him back to a quiet room with a door. His heart pounded harder with every step they took, fear threatening to overwhelm him, afraid something had happened since he’d talked to her last.

She got him settled into the room and said she'd be back with Leila and Neil. He put his head in his hands and waited, staring at the floor.  
Tommy looked up as the door opened and seeing Leila, Tommy jumped out of his seat and ran over to her. Tommy wrapped Leila in a hug and the two of them clung to each other. She stroked his hair and he fisted his hands in her shirt. He was trying so hard to be strong for everyone but something about Leila shifted something inside him and he started crying. Leila guided Tommy out into the hallway.

She held him while he cried and when his tears started to slow, he pulled back and looked at her. "Oh God, Leila, I'm so sorry, I just –"

"Shh, it's okay, Tommy, it's gonna be okay," she murmured into his hair.

"But you're probably way more upset than I am," he hiccupped into her shoulder.

She sighed. "I don't know about that, honey."

Tommy stayed in her arms for several more minutes until he had himself under control.

"Better?" she asked softly, wiping tears off his face with a tissue from her purse.

He nodded his head. "Yeah, thanks."

"It's okay, I understand. Feel up to going back in there so we only have to go through things once?"

He nodded, rubbing a hand over his face one more time, straightening his shoulders and then opening the door for her. She walked in before him and went over to sit beside Neil, who was waiting beside Dana in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. Neil reached out and squeezed Leila's hand. Tommy sat down on Leila’s other side and took her hand in his.

When everyone was settled, Dana looked at Leila. "Mrs. Lambert, I need to ask your permission to discuss Mr. Lambert's condition in front of anyone else."

Leila nodded, wiping a tear off her face, and squeezing Tommy's hand. "Tommy and Kara are family, you have my permission to tell them any information you have."

Dana smiled, "Thank you. I'll let the rest of the staff know as well.”

Dana made a note on the files in her lap and then looked up at Lelia. “Adam was in a very severe car accident. From what we know, he was driving along the PCH and a car crossed the center line at that curve just outside Malibu.”

Tommy nodded his head, he knew that curve very well.

“Is he going to be okay?” Leila whispered.

Dana opened her mouth to speak but shut it when the door opened and a tall older man with salt and pepper hair walked inside. He strode forward purposefully, his hand extended. Leila, Tommy, and Neil stood up and took turns shaking his hand.

“I’m Dr. Seabuck but people around here just call me Buck.”

Dr. Seabuck looked to Dana, who nodded once. He nodded in return and then turned to Lelia.

“Please, sit down.”

They sat back down and Tommy immediately started chewing his thumb nervously, a habit both Kara and Adam had tried to get him to break for years.

“As I'm sure Dana told you, Adam was in a serious car accident. We got him stabilized and he’s in surgery right now. His left leg was crushed up against the dashboard, he had some broken ribs from the steering wheel despite the airbag, and there were some internal injuries and bleeding. He also has a severe concussion. He’s in surgery right now to repair and pin his leg and to find and stop the internal bleeding. Now, do you have any questions?”

Tommy stared at the floor, a thousand questions flooding his mind but only one finding voice. “Is he going to be all right?” he choked out in a whisper.

Dana reached over and squeezed his hand as he felt a tear slide down his face.

Buck sighed. “I can’t make any promises. He was injured very badly. What I can tell you is that he’s young, he’s got the best people in the world working on him right now and that his chances are good.”

Tommy nodded. “Thank you, for being honest, I mean.”

"Yes, thank you Doctor," Leila said softly.

“You’re welcome.” Buck reached over and squeezed Leila's shoulder. “He seems like a fighter.”

She chuckled softly. “You have no idea.”

Buck stood up. “I’ll have Dana walk you up to the surgery waiting room. You let me know if you need anything or have any further questions.”

Leila shook his hand again and then Buck was gone.

“Is there anyone else coming that we should wait for?” Dana asked.

“My wife, Kara, she was parking the car.” Tommy answered quickly.

“Kara's your wife?”

Tommy nodded again, flicking a quick glance up at her, seeing the look of surprise on her face before she was able to school her features back into a neutral look.

“What does she look like? I’ll keep an eye out for her and bring her back here when I see her.”

“She’s a really tall blond.”

“Okay, Mrs. Lambert, Mr. Lambert, Mr. Ratliff, you wait right here, I’ll see if she's come in yet. Would you like some coffee?”

He nodded absentmindedly, chewing on his thumb nail again and never even noticed when she left the room. He was already buried in his memories again.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

  
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****

Part Two

 _Twenty-Three Years Earlier_

That first day in the new school turned out to be one of the best days of his life. He and Adam and Kara became immediate best friends and they did everything together, much to the delight of their parents. Tommy didn’t understand until much later, but his parents had grown up in Orange, had been friends with both Adam's and Kara’s parents while they were all children.

His mom and dad had left town together to go to college but had always dreamed of moving back someday. When Tommy’s dad had gotten an offer in their hometown, they’d jumped at the chance and now their son was best friends with the children of their best friends and life really couldn’t have been more perfect.

Tommy, Adam and Kara were like the three musketeers growing up. The town was small enough that they always ended up in the same class together, as if even the teachers and the school didn’t want to separate them. Of course they played with other kids, but everyone knew it was the three of them and they were fiercely protective of each other. Everyone joked that the three of them would grow old together until they were sitting on the porch of an old folks home in rocking chairs side by side by side.

To a casual observer, it would appear that Kara or Adam was the leader and Tommy just followed them around but the people closest to them knew that Tommy was the true boss of the group. He had Adam and Kara wrapped around his little fingers and the two would often argue about who got to do something that Tommy wanted. Tommy himself never even realized the power he had, he just knew he had two friends who he loved more than life itself and who loved him back.

They did everything together during elementary school when everything was so easy. It wasn’t until they got to middle school that things started to get complicated. Tommy started noticing that Kara was a girl and Kara started noticing that Tommy was a boy. It was then that they realized Adam was different.

It didn’t matter to Adam that Kara was a girl. Tommy and Kara also started noticing that Adam talked about other boys a lot but rarely talked about girls other than Kara, but they didn’t think anything of it, they just thought Adam was being Adam.

When they got to high school it became more obvious that things had changed between the three of them. They were still inseparable but gradually it became clear that Tommy and Kara were a couple. They went to all of Adam’s theater productions together. They sat in the seats he’d reserved for them and held hands. After the show, they dropped Adam off at his house and when Tommy took Kara home, he would kiss her goodnight, while she blushed.

They went to all the school dances as a threesome but Adam watched while Tommy and Kara danced to most of the songs together. At their senior prom, the three of them were voted most likely to stay friends forever. Adam was voted most likely to win a Tony and Tommy and Kara were voted cutest couple and most likely to get married.

After graduation, Adam went off to NYU to get a degree in architecture while he tried his luck on Broadway. Tommy and Kara stayed close to home and a few years later, Adam was back. He got a job with a local architecture firm and was very successful with them. In his spare time, he taught music and theater classes at the local boys and girls club.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Tommy started, broken out of his trip down memory lane by the door opening. He jumped up when he realized it was Kara. He grabbed her and buried his face in her hair. She clung to him tightly.

He pulled back but held onto her hand, while she was hugged by Leila and then Neil.

"I'm so sorry," Kara whispered.

Leila reached out and stroked her hand over Kara's hair. "I know honey, he's going to be okay, we just have to believe that. Come on, sit down, let Tommy tell you what's going on."

Tommy explained everything that Dana and the doctor had said and that they were waiting for her and then Dana would take them upstairs to the surgery waiting area.

“Dana, is she the short red-haired nurse?”

“Yeah, that’s her. She’s a bit of a spitfire. Adam would like her.”

Kara nodded. “She looked at me kind of funny when I came in.”

“Really?”

Kara shrugged. “A bit, but then when she saw how upset I was, she directed me right back here to you.”

He smiled at her, took her hand and threaded their fingers  
together. “He’s got to be okay,” he whispered. “He’s Adam.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I know, he’ll be fine.”

~*~*~

Adam stared at the ceiling, counting the tiles as they wheeled him into the OR suite from the CT scan room. He wasn’t in pain anymore because they’d given him some medication and it was making him feel like he was floating. He could hear the doctors and nurses talking around him, someone asking him questions that he tried to answer. Then a face was right over top of his.

“Mr. Lambert? We’re going to put you under now.”

“Call Tommy, please? Did someone call Tommy?” he asked.

The woman frowned and looked over at someone else. “Call down to the ER and make sure someone called Tommy.” She looked back down at him. “I’ll make sure Tommy’s called. I want you to count back from one hundred, okay?”

Adam started counting, Tommy’s face swimming before his eyes as they fluttered shut.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Five Years Earlier_

Adam woke up slowly, the light from the crack between the drawn curtains spilling over the bed. His muscles ached, but it was that really good ache that came from fantastic sex the night before. _Fantastic sex the night before_ – He bolted upright in the bed and turned to look at his bedmate, his heart pounding.

Tommy. In his bed. His blond hair fanned out on his pillow.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck! What the fuck were they thinking last night?_

Adam sat there staring at Tommy, ignoring the pounding of his heart and remembered the previous night. He remembered Tommy kissing his palm, remembered the shiver of desire that swept through him and then the rest...he scrubbed a hand over his face. The rest.

“Hmmm,” Tommy snuffled into his pillow, shifting on the bed, turning his head toward Adam.

Adam sat frozen in his spot, suddenly achingly aware of just how nude he was and uncomfortably aware of just how hard he was. His heart was racing so fast he was afraid it was going to explode right out of his chest as Tommy shifted, pushed up on his elbows, and looked at him.

A smile broke out over Tommy’s face.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy whispered shyly.

“Hey. You okay, I mean, um, we, um – "

Tommy shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay."

Adam rubbed a hand over his face as images of the night before flooded his head. "Fuck, Tommy, I'm so sorry. Shit." He hung his head, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead. He felt Tommy scoot closer to him and rub a hand over his back.

"No," he whispered. "I don't regret it, not one second of it. Remember what you said to me last night?"

Adam turned to look at Tommy, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. "Yeah, yeah, I do, but, you're – Kara, oh fuck, Kara."

Tommy leaned against him, his arm wrapped around Adam's waist. He pressed his face into Adam's shoulder blade, kissing him softly. Adam stiffened under his lips even as he dropped his hands to cover Tommy's.

"We can't do this again. Ever." Adam said.

Tommy pressed his forehead against Adam's shoulder, a tear leaking out at Adam's words. "I love you, Adam," he whispered.

Adam turned in his arms, grabbed his chin, forcing him to look him in the eye. "But you're marrying Kara in about," he glanced over at the clock, "five hours, remember?"

Tommy flinched at his words and Adam's heart broke at the look on his face. It was a mixture of pain, relief, love, misery, and helplessness.

Adam leaned forward and kissed him, wanting nothing more than to make that look go away. Tommy melted into his arms, giving himself over to the kiss, opening to Adam's tongue and sweeping his own tongue out to meet it.  
Adam pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you, Tommy Joe. I've loved you since the moment you walked into kindergarten, but I'd rather have you as my friend than nothing at all. If we try to change that, one day, you're going to regret it and you'll end up hating me for it and that would kill me."

Tommy opened his mouth to speak but Adam held his hand up, stopping him.  
"Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I will never ever forget it, but it can't happen again. I don't want Kara's broken heart and your resentment on my conscience. You two have been together forever. I see the way you look at her. I can't destroy that. And I won't let you destroy that."

Tommy stared at him for a moment, looking as if he were going to argue and Adam could almost see the images of Kara flashing through his mind and knew his answer when a look of resignation settled into Tommy's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Tommy nodded in agreement, but tightened his hold on Adam's waist and buried his face in Adam's chest.

Adam stroked his hand up and down Tommy's back. "We'll get through this. You two are my best friends. I don't work right without you. It'll be okay, we can do this. You'll get married in a few hours, go on your honeymoon, come back, get settled, and things will be back to normal between us. We can chalk last night up to pre-wedding jitters and a little tension relief with someone you trusted."

They sat there for several long minutes, just holding each other. Tommy clung to Adam, his face still buried in Adam's chest, and Adam could feel tears sliding over his skin and it broke his heart. He kissed Tommy's temple, murmured soothing words to him and eventually the tears stopped and Tommy sat up, the look of resignation back on his face. He swiped at the lingering tears with his hand and attempted to smile at Adam.

"You're right," he said hoarsely. "I do love Kara, I love both of you, I don't want to hurt either of you. But… are you sure we'll be okay? Are you okay?"

Adam swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, nodding slowly, because for Tommy he would be okay. He'd put up the brave face, hide his feelings, and he'd be okay. For Tommy. He gave Tommy a tremulous smile. "We'll be okay. I promise."

Tommy watched him for a minute or so, searching his face for any kind of sign but Adam knew he had a good poker face and finally Tommy smiled at him.

"Well, then I guess we have a wedding to get to."

Adam smiled back. "Yes, we do. You go shower first, I'll jump in when you're done."

"Okay,"

Tommy slid off the bed and stood there for a second before spinning around and sliding right back into Adam's arms. He kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you, Adam Lambert. Don't ever forget that." He cupped Adam's face with his palm. "Thank you," he whispered, before getting off the bed and going into the bathroom.

Adam rubbed a finger over his lips, still feeling Tommy's mouth, soft and smooth against them. "I'm counting on that, Tommy Joe. I'm counting on that," his voice echoed through the empty room.

~*~*~

When Adam came out of the shower, he found Tommy already half-dressed. Adam helped him with the vest and the tie of his tuxedo and tried to ignore the electric jolt he got when their fingers touched. Tommy smiled up at him, but Adam could see the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Adam pressed his lips together and returned the smile. They finished dressing and headed out to Adam's car, making small talk during the ride to the church.

The last minute preps at the church would always remain a big blur for Adam. But the wedding he remembered with crystal clarity. Standing beside Tommy, watching Kara walk down the aisle, the beading on her dress sparkling when the sunlight hit it, handing Tommy the rings, Tommy's grateful smile, and the feeling of his heart breaking when Tommy and Kara kissed and walked out of the church, leaving him behind.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

 _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

"He's crashing! Get me the paddles! Come on, Adam, don't do this. Don't do this! Come on."

~*~*~

Kara looked up at Tommy and smiled at him, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. His lower lip trembled as he returned her smile. He squeezed her hand, glancing at the door when Neil walked back in with a tray of coffee cups. He passed them out and had just taken his seat next to Leila when the door opened and a man in green scrubs walked into the room.

"Mrs. Lambert?"

Leila stood up, pulling Tommy up with her, clutching his hand. He wiped his free hand nervously on his jeans.

"I'm Mrs. Lambert, how is he?" she choked out as Tommy squeezed her hand tight.

The surgeon came over and sat down. "Mr. Lambert is out of surgery and in recovery right now. It was touch and go there for a while. He went into cardiac arrest while we were working on him. We managed to restart his heart but the next twenty-four hours are going to be critical for him. We were able to repair his leg with a couple of rods and numerous pins. His liver was lacerated which was where the internal bleeding was coming from. We repaired that as well as the nick to the big vein in his left leg. He's got some broken ribs, a severe concussion, and some internal bruising as well. He'll be in the ICU for several days at least."

"Is he going to be okay?" Tommy asked nervously.

"Well, like I said, the next twenty-four hours are critical. His body needs time to start repairing itself. I'd say if he makes it through the next twenty-four hours or so he will have turned a corner, we're just going to have to wait and see.

“Now, I can't let all of you go back to see him. Our policy is one or two people at a time. Mrs. Lambert?"

Tommy turned to Leila and squeezed her hand. "You and Neil should go, you’re his family."

Neil stood up and squeezed Tommy's shoulder. "You go with her. I'll wait here with Kara. We'll go in when you two are done. Go on."

Tommy smiled at him gratefully and he and Leila followed the surgeon out of the room.

They held hands as they walked down the hall toward Adam's room. She was squeezing his hand so tightly that he wasn't sure who was comforting who.

The doctor stopped outside of a room with glass windows. He stood in front of the window, mostly blocking their view.

"I want you to be aware of what you're going to see when you get in there. He's connected to a lot of machines right now. There's a tube in his mouth helping him breathe, there are wires attached to his head monitoring his brain activity and to his chest monitoring his heart. He has a couple of IV's, his head is shaved and bandaged on one side, and his leg is wrapped and elevated right now.

“I know you're used to how he normally looks and he's a big guy, but he's going to look small and vulnerable and I wanted you to be prepared for that."

Leila and Tommy both nodded and their hands still clasped tightly together they followed the doctor into the room.

Tommy looked at Adam lying on the bed, pale against the stark white sheets, his normally vibrant body still and lifeless. He let go of Leila's hand just as she raised it to her mouth and gasped. He choked back a sob and stepped forward, stretching out a trembling hand, brushing a strand of hair off Adam's forehead. "Oh god, Adam," he whispered brokenly, his mind reaching back to images and memories of a happier time.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Four Years Earlier_

Tommy and Kara had just celebrated their one year anniversary. After a wonderfully romantic weekend alone, they'd gifted each other with trips tailored to their likes that didn't overlap. Kara was going up to San Francisco to go museum hopping with her girlfriends and he and Adam were heading to Cancun to go scuba diving.

True to Adam's word, time had passed and things had gotten back to normal between them. But Tommy still thought about that night. Sometimes it made him so hard he ached. He tried to ignore those feelings but late at night, when Kara was asleep or out with her girlfriends, he found himself in the bathroom, replaying that night over and over in his head. He just hoped he wouldn't embarrass himself on this vacation with Adam.

"Dude, if you don't hurry up we are going to miss our flight," Adam complained, lounging on the bed watching Tommy pack.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "You know harassing me is only going to make me pack slower."

"If you don't pack faster, I'm coming over there and packing for you. And you know what I'll pack," Adam warned.

"Yeah, swim trunks, flip flops, eye makeup, and glitter."

"Yup, so get busy."

Tommy snorted and got back to packing, picking up his pace a tiny bit because Adam was actually right, they did need to get a move on. He finished about fifteen minutes later and they loaded up Adam's Mustang and headed off to the airport.

Before long they were sitting side by side in first class sipping some champagne.

"Tell me again how you can afford this upgrade?" Tommy asked as he settled back in the leather seat.

Adam shrugged. "Just cashed in all my frequent flyer rewards from that damn ski resort project in Vermont. I tell ya, the miles and the maple syrup were the best parts of designing that place."

"Well, it rocks, thanks. I could get used to this," Tommy sighed, stretching his legs out.

Adam smirked, stretching his longer legs out into the aisle a bit. "Shut up. I could fit you into my carry on you're so tiny. I need the extra room."

Tommy snorted. "Could not, not with all your makeup shit."

Adam gasped in mock horror. "My makeup is not shit."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Whatever, dude."

Adam smiled and sat back as a comfortable silence settled over them. By the time they took off, Tommy was asleep, with his head resting on Adam's shoulder.

Adam woke him when they landed, laughing at him when he sat up wiping his chin.

"Don't worry, there was minimal drool and this shirt is washable."

"Fuck you."

"In your dreams, Tommy boy. In your dreams."

Tommy stilled as Adam laughed. He knew Adam didn't know he still thought about that night, but damn that hit just a little too close to home. He tried to laugh it off, but his laughter sounded strained even to his ears. "You wish, baby."

They grabbed their bags and headed off the plane. Adam had rented them a car and soon they were driving toward the resort. When they got there, Tommy followed Adam to the front desk and stood a little off to the side while he checked them in. He listened to the banter between Adam and the clerk, Adam was obviously flirting with the guy and it made Tommy laugh.

The guy stood no chance, Tommy could tell. This was Adam's casual flirting. He saved the serious flirting for guys he was actually into. Adam got the keys, winked at the guy and walked right over to Tommy sliding an arm around his shoulders. Tommy looked back over his shoulder to see the clerk's face fall.

"You're such a bitch," he laughed.

"I got us the honeymoon suite at no extra charge."

"Get the fuck out! No, you didn't!"

"Yup, I did. All it took was a little charm, a little harmless flirting and voila, honeymoon suite."

"You know, I think that guy actually thought he had a chance with you," Tommy said soberly.

Adam rolled his eyes. "First off, he knew I wasn't alone. Second, I asked for the fucking honeymoon suite. Third, have you looked in a mirror lately? Like I would choose that loser over you. Straight you may be, but you, Tommy Joe, are still the prettiest man I know. Now, let's forget about him and get to our room and get naked."

Tommy's heart pounded a bit harder at that thought and he almost stumbled over his words. "Get naked?"

"Yeah, you know, so we can put on our trunks and hit the beach. I want to get some swimming in today. We can't dive until tomorrow so I want to hit the beach and the pool today."

"Right. That's cool."

Adam kept his arm around Tommy's shoulders the whole way up to their room, and when he dropped it to unlock the door, Tommy missed the weight of it. He followed Adam into the room and looked around in awe.

"Fuck, Adam, you really got this for no extra charge?"

"Tommy, please. It was like taking candy from a baby. Plus I was on the team when our firm designed this place, we all get a courtesy discount."

Tommy dropped his bag by one of the chairs and walked around the suite, staring at the view, picking up little things to look at until he finally ended up in the bedroom. He stared at the king size bed. His dick twitched at the idea of being in bed alone with Adam. He closed his eyes and tried to will his dick back under control.

He started when Adam came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Um, which side do you want?" He jerked his head to the bed.

"Um, the left I guess? I don't know, I'm usually all over the bed at home." Adam squeezed Tommy’s shoulder and went to drop his bag by the left side of the bed.

Tommy set his bag down on the luggage rack beside the bed and opened it, digging for his swim trunks. He grabbed those, his flip flops, and his gray striped hoodie. "I'm just gonna go take a leak and change."

Adam muttered something noncommittal and continued digging through his own bag. Tommy shut the bathroom door behind him and leaned up against it.

"Fuck," he muttered softly.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. He and Kara had been married for a year. They had an amazing connection and really good sex. So why the fuck was he locked in the bathroom thinking about fucking his best friend? _Because the one night of sex with him was the best you ever had._

Tommy tried to ignore the voice in his head, but frankly it had just gotten louder and louder these past few months until it was practically shouting at him. Whenever he was around Adam it felt like his skin didn't fit right, like he itched underneath it or something. Mostly he disregarded it because Adam acted completely normal, but he wasn't sure he was going to be able to ignore it here. Not staying in the same room, sleeping in the same bed right next to a naked Adam.

He thumped his head against the bathroom door, his cock hard and aching in his pants. What the fuck was wrong with him? He palmed his dick, pressing down, and biting his lip to keep the moan that was threatening to escape trapped inside. He needed to get himself under control and right the fuck now, because no way were his swim trunks going to hide his raging hard on. He closed his eyes and tried to think unsexy thoughts. Tommy wasn't sure how long it took but it was long enough that Adam knocked on the door and asked if he was okay.

"Yeah, sorry, I got my zipper stuck. Be out in a minute."

He yanked his jeans off, took a leak, and then pulled his swim trunks up roughly, giving his hands a quick rinse in the sink before opening the door. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Adam in black swim trunks and nothing else.

"Um, sorry I took so long," Tommy felt his face heat up and his dick stir again. He closed his eyes and mentally cursed his misbehaving cock. He quickly walked over and dropped his clothes next to his bag.

"No problem, you ready? Thought maybe we'd hit the pool first. They have a bar right in the middle."

"Cool, yeah, I could stand to have a margarita."

Tommy relaxed a bit once they were in the water with drinks in their hands. Adam floated over to him so they were standing right next to each other.

"So, I booked us a dive first thing in the morning. I know you like to sleep in but if we leave early enough we might be able to do a second one in the afternoon."

"How early?" Tommy's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Six am," Adam mumbled sheepishly.

Tommy almost choked on his drink. "Six am? Six am?" he spluttered.

Adam gave him that innocent look he got whenever he was trying to get out of trouble, the look he had to know worked on Tommy every time. Tommy tried to glare at him and utterly failed. "Okay, six am it is. So what time do we actually have to get up?"

Adam's smile lit up his whole face and it made Tommy feel all warm inside and he couldn't help but smile back.

They stayed in the water for almost two hours just drinking and relaxing. Tommy was feeling very loose by the time they got back to their suite to dress for dinner. He had to clench his fists when Adam came out of the bathroom in a white shirt and dark dress pants because he looked great and he smelled good enough to eat. "Fuck, you smell good," Tommy breathed out and then promptly clapped his hand over his mouth.

Adam turned to stare at him. "What?" he whispered.

The tension in the room rose about a million percent. Tommy felt his face heat up. He dropped his hand and licked his lips nervously. "You smell good," he said softly, looking up at Adam through his lashes.

"Tommy? What –"

Tommy pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. "Fuck, forget I said anything. Can we just go to dinner? Please?" He looked up at Adam who had taken several steps closer to him.

Adam studied his face for what seemed like forever and then nodded quickly with a look that Tommy knew meant they'd be talking about this later. "Sure. Let's go to dinner." He stuck out his elbow for Tommy, laughing and wagging his eyebrows suggestively and Tommy laughed, most of the tension leaving him. He took Adam's elbow and let him lead him down to dinner.

The tension seemed to ease even more over dinner and Tommy's slip of the tongue was mostly forgotten. They moved to the bar when they were done eating and talked about old times while they watched the couples dance.

They lapsed into silence when two men appeared on the dance floor together. Tommy couldn't take his eyes off them. The way the shorter man moved into his boyfriend's arms, the way his hand pressed into the small of the other man's back, the play of his fingers at the nape of the other man's neck, the press of lips the other man gave to his temple, all of it was invading Tommy's senses. He closed his eyes as memories of that night washed over him again – Adam's hand on his hip, Adam's hand at his neck, Adam kissing him senseless and Adam holding him through all of it.

"Tommy?"

Tommy dragged his eyes open to find Adam staring at him in concern and realized with his flushed face and the sweat on his upper lip that he must look like he was about to be sick, but then he heard Adam's intake of breath at the look in his eyes. Tommy knew he had no poker face at all and he knew his eyes were betraying his arousal right now just as much as his dress pants were under the table.

Adam's face broke out into what Tommy called his 'nervous smile' and a shaky laugh slipped out from his lips. "That's nice to see in a place like this," he said softly.

Tommy licked his lips as Adam watched the couple for a moment and then looked at his watch. "It's getting late. We've got an early wake up call tomorrow. We should probably head back and get some sleep."

And just like that the spell was broken. Tommy breathed a sigh of relief and his heart started to slow back to its normal rhythm. Adam signed their tab and they silently walked back to their room.

~*~*~

Tommy groaned as Adam nudged his side. "Wake up, sleepyhead. Need to get moving if we're going to meet that dive boat."

"How the fuck did I let you talk me into a five-thirty wakeup call?" Tommy whined.

"Because you love me. Now get your ass out of that bed before I drag it out of there myself," Adam laughed, smacking Tommy on the ass.

"Grrrr," Tommy muttered, pulling a pillow over his head.

"Did you just growl at me?" Adam asked incredulously.

Tommy groaned from underneath the pillow. "And what if I did?"

Adam grabbed his ankle and started to pull. Tommy scrabbled for something to hold onto, digging his fingers into the edge of the mattress. "All right, all right, I'm up. Fucker."

Adam laughed, let go of Tommy so he could stumble his way into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later they were in a boat headed out to sea. Adam had grabbed a couple of granola bars and some coffee in a to go cup and shared them as they were walking toward the boat. They laughed and talked with the other people on the boat and the driver until they reached their dive spot. Once there, they listened to instructions and then hit the water.

They spent a fair amount of time just following the dive guide. Tommy pointed out fish to Adam and Adam pointed out crabs with pretty shells to Tommy. While they were down there it was like they were in their own little world. The time went by way too fast and before Tommy knew it they were surfacing and climbing up into the boat.

"That was fucking amazing!"

"Worth the early wakeup call?" Adam teased.

Tommy stuck his tongue out and laughed.

"You know you shouldn't stick that out unless you intend to use it," Adam joked.

"How do you know I won't?"

Adam raised an eyebrow and Tommy giggled. Adam wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him close. "Come on, they're putting out lunch."

He kept his arm around Tommy's neck, pulling him over to the coolers and handing him a paper plate. Tommy was actually surprised at the amount of food. There was fresh fruit and vegetables, a tray of cold cuts, cheeses, and even some rolls to make sandwiches.

"What, you think I'd let you starve?" Adam nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. "These double dives provide a serious spread. Gotta keep up your strength."

The dive guide talked while they ate, telling them about the next dive site, explaining to them what they should look for and making sure they all understood the depth and time they'd be diving. When they finished eating, Adam took care of their trash and came back to sit next to Tommy. He slung his arm up on the boat siderail and Tommy leaned right into him, tucking his head onto Adam's shoulder. Adam eventually dropped his arm down onto Tommy's shoulder and Tommy snuggled in closer, murmuring quiet noises of approval.

They stayed like that until the boat stopped and it was time to put their dive gear back on. The dive this time wasn't as long or as deep but Adam managed to find shiny stuff to show Tommy who just shook his head and laughed. The dive was over way too quickly and then they were back on the boat headed back to the resort.

Tommy was snuggled up against Adam's chest again, Adam stroking his arm through his t-shirt this time. "So, good day?" Adam said softly.

"Mmm," Tommy agreed, his eyes closed.

When they got back to shore, Adam actually had to wake Tommy up. Tommy blinked his eyes and looked around a bit confused. "Where are we?" he asked roughly.

"Back at the resort, babe. Come on, everyone's leaving the boat." He nudged Tommy up and grabbed their gear.

Tommy rubbed his eyes and looked around blearily. He followed Adam back to the room, the walk waking him up. He grabbed a cup of coffee as they passed through the lobby which also helped. By the time they got to the room, he was fully awake and Adam was starting to drag. He noticed it in the way he was carrying himself.

"Hey, why don't you get a shower, I'll order us some room service and then we can get right to bed. No early wakeup call tomorrow, right?"

Adam smiled gratefully at him. "Nope, thought we might take it easy tomorrow, just hang out on the beach or at the pool and drink."

"Oh, good. Now scoot, I'll order."

Tommy watched Adam gather his things and head into the bathroom and then placed an order for room service. He ordered both of them burgers. He knew Adam would usually choose a salad but they'd been active all day and he figured Adam could do with the protein. Besides, they were on vacation. He also ordered up some beer, because really, what else did you drink with hamburgers and fries?

When Adam re-emerged from the shower, Tommy's breath caught in his throat. Adam was standing in the doorway scrubbing his hair dry with one towel and had another barely clinging to his hips. Tommy watched as a few stray droplets of water rolled down his chest. He licked his lips trying to quash the desire to go over and lick the water off of Adam's skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms.

"Tommy? Shower's free. You order us some dinner?"

Tommy opened his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to speak through the dry desert that was now inside his mouth. "Yeah, um, burgers, fries and beer. And don't say it, you can go without your rabbit food for one night. We earned it after today."

He turned quickly then, gathering his own stuff and scurried past Adam into the bathroom. Once inside, he shut the door and leaned against it. He took several deep breaths trying to regain control. He turned the water on to cold and stepped under the spray.

By the time he rejoined Adam, he was back under control and a resort employee was laying out their dinners. Adam laughed and the room service waiter just smiled. Adam signed the tab and slipped the guy a tip. He inclined his head in thanks and left the room.

The smell of hamburgers made his stomach growl loudly. Tommy sat down across from Adam and grinned at him. "Sorry, I had no idea how hungry I was."

They dug in to their food, barely talking as they ate. By the time they were finished, Tommy could see that Adam was about to fall asleep in his plate. He gathered up the dishes, put them back on the cart and put it outside the room, hanging the do not disturb sign on the door. He turned back to see Adam nodding off in the chair. He walked over to him and had to restrain from kissing Adam's temple. Instead, he gently placed his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Hey, get in the bed. I'll join you in a minute."

Adam mumbled something incoherent but did as Tommy asked, stripping off his clothes and sliding in between the sheets. Tommy went around shutting off the lights and grabbing his phone. He climbed into the bed, sitting propped up against the pillows. Adam immediately shifted in his sleep until his head was pillowed on Tommy's thigh. Tommy looked down at him and couldn't help but think about how beautiful his friend was, dark hair, creamy freckled skin and those piercing blue eyes.

He dropped his hand down to run his fingers through Adam's hair. Adam pushed up a bit into his touch but then settled back into sleep. Tommy smiled and then picked up his phone to call Kara. She answered on the third ring.

"Tommy!"

"Hey, babe. Having fun?"

"Yes," she paused and he heard a man's voice murmuring in the background, then she was back. "Sorry, that was… uh…the waiter. The girls and I are at this fabulous restaurant in Carmel. He just came to take our order."

"Oh. Good. So buy anything special?" He heard murmuring again and he frowned because it didn't really sound like a waiter, but then he heard someone order in the background and relaxed.

"Nope, not yet. Don't worry, your wallet is still intact."

Tommy smiled, his fingers continuing to comb through Adam's hair. "S'long as you're having fun."

"What about you? Go diving with Adam yet?"

"Yep, went on a double dive today. We're going to take it easy tomorrow, hang by the pool or the beach and then maybe go again the day after."

"Sounds good. I miss you, babe."

"Miss you, too."

"Call me tomorrow?"

"Always."

"I love you, Tommy Joe," Kara said softly.

"I love you too, Kara."

"Night."

"Night."

He put his phone on the bedside table, switched off the light and shifted Adam so he could lie down as well. Adam shuffled over onto his back until Tommy settled on his side and then, almost as if he had a sixth sense, Adam turned back over. He slid up behind Tommy, wrapping his arm around Tommy's waist and pulling him back into the curve of his stomach. Tommy fell asleep with Adam spooned up against his back and his own hand holding Adam's in place at his waist.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"Tommy. Tommy. Tommy!"

He grumbled as a hand gently shook his shoulder. "Five more minutes,  
Adam, just five more minutes."

The hand stilled for a second and the voice gentled. "Tommy?"

Tommy sat up, looked around confused, blearily trying to focus and figure out where he was. "Leila?"

"Tommy, honey, you fell asleep."

Tommy gazed up at her. She was smiling at him but her eyes were pinched with worry. And then it all came rushing back to him. Adam. The accident the day before. The hospital. He looked down at the bed, at Adam's hand covered by his own. "Did he wake up yet?"

"No, honey, not yet. The Doctor says it may be another day or two. They took the tube out because he's breathing on his own, which is a good sign, but nothing else. Come on, Kara's waiting for you downstairs. Go home, get something to eat, grab a shower, get some rest. He's not going anywhere, and I'll be here. I'll call you if anything happens. I promise."

Tommy returned his gaze back to the bed. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Adam lying there so vulnerable and small looking. He stroked what little bit of hair was left off of Adam's brow. He stood up, kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll be back in a while, baby. Mom's shooing me out. Told me to go shower, so I'm thinking I might smell bad. God, please come back to me, Adam. Please," he whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

He squeezed Adam's hand and let go. Leila pulled him into a hug, kissing the side of his head. "I promise, I'll call you."

He nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak. He left the room and headed to the lobby, already lost in his thoughts.

 ****

~~~~*****~~~~

 _Four Years Earlier_

Tommy woke up sprawled on top of Adam. His head was on Adam's chest right over his heart, one of his legs was draped across Adam's and his arm was wrapped tightly around Adam's waist, and he was hard – impossibly, achingly, hard. _Fuck._ He tried to move and the arm Adam had draped across his shoulders and down his back tightened.

"Stay."

Tommy tensed, wondering how long Adam had been awake.

"Been up for a while," Adam said as if he'd read Tommy's mind. "S'nice, holding you like this."

He shifted a tiny bit and Adam's arms tightened again. Tommy's face reddened as he realized his erection was pressing against Adam's thigh. "Um, I – um – I'm – fuck."

Adam's chest rumbled as quiet laughter bubbled out. Tommy blushed harder and just buried his face in Adam's chest.

"You know that's perfectly natural, right?"

"Shut up, fucker."

Adam just laughed more, his hand sliding down to cup Tommy's ass. Tommy gasped at the sensation and his dick throbbed. A moan escaped his throat and instinctively he thrust against Adam's thigh. "Adam," he breathed.

Suddenly Adam pulled away, rubbing his hands over his face as he muttered, "Shit, shit, I'm sorry."

Tommy leaned up on his elbow and looked at Adam. "Wait, what?" he asked, confused.

"I promised myself I wouldn't – we said it was a onetime thing and I go and fucking grope you and – God, you must hate me."

"Hate you? Adam, I could never hate you. But are you– what are you saying? Do you think about that… that night… too?"

Adam slowly uncovered his face and met Tommy's eyes. "Too? You think about it?"

Tommy didn't think his face could get any redder. "Yeah, I do. It was so – it was an amazing night. Sometimes it's hard to be around you and not think about it, not touch you, you know?"

With a soft groan, Adam reached out and pulled Tommy into his arms. "I know," he whispered into Tommy's neck.

They simply held each other for a long moment until Tommy sighed. "So, what do we do?" he asked.

"I don't know," Adam admitted, holding Tommy tighter. "It's not just us now. You're married and we both love Kara."

"Fuck," Tommy breathed as the enormity of what they were talking about washed over him. "I don't want to hurt her, it would kill me, but – " He bit his lip.

"But?"

Tommy pulled back to look up at Adam. "It's killing me to pretend I don't want you, too."

Adam's hand slid up his back and buried itself in his hair, pulling him close. Adam's other arm came around cupped his ass and pressing them together. Tommy suddenly found himself rolled onto his back and looking up into Adam's blue eyes that filled so many of his fantasies. He opened his mouth to say something just as Adam rolled his hips and all that came out was a broken and needy, "Please."

Adam crushed their mouths together and worked a hand between them. Tommy bucked up as soon as Adam's hand closed around his cock.

"Wait," Adam ordered and instantly Tommy stilled, biting his lip with the strain.

Adam rolled his hips again, aligning their cocks together and then wrapped his hand around both of them. "Now."

Tommy thrust up against him and into his fist as Adam's mouth covered his again. He sucked on Adam's tongue hungrily as each stroke of his hand pulled desperate sounds from his throat. Tommy had a death grip around Adam's neck, his fingers digging into the freckled skin, trying to pull Adam closer. Adam broke the kiss and licked down his neck, biting at the juncture between his shoulder and neck and Tommy came with a strangled cry.

"Adam!"

That was all it took to push Adam over the edge as well. He cried out Tommy's name against his skin and Tommy could feel the warm liquid spreading between them. Adam collapsed on top of him, settling between his thighs. He could feel both their hearts racing, felt Adam's breath puffing out against his skin, but he continued to cling to him, not wanting him to move.

Adam kissed his shoulder softly. "You okay, baby?"

Tommy nodded, not trusting his voice yet and Adam pulled up a little. He stroked the sweat dampened fringe off Tommy's face and smiled at him. He bent down and kissed him lightly and rolled off, pulling Tommy with him.

Tommy snuggled into his side, burying his face in Adam's chest. Adam stroked his arm. "What if –" He broke off uncertainly and then continued in a quiet voice. "We did this old play in college about these two people who have an affair for, like, twenty years but they only meet for one day each year. It's like a vacation from themselves and it didn't mean they didn't love their families, it was just something they needed that was, well, separate from their marriages."

"Yeah?" Tommy asked. "And no one got hurt?"

Adam shook his head. "What would you think about making the vacation thing something we do together once a year?" he asked hesitantly. "Just us, no outside world, whatever we want?"

Tommy looked up at him, saw the gentle loving expression on his face and smiled, feeling his face heat up again. "Yeah? Okay, I'll… I'll think about it."

"Sounds good. Come on, let's get clean and go get some breakfast." He slid out of bed, squeezing Tommy's ass quickly as he made his way to the bathroom.

Tommy rolled up onto his elbow and watched him go before flopping back onto the bed. _Once a year, anything we want. Is that even possible?_ he wondered.

~*~*~

Tommy watched as Adam talked animatedly to him from across the table. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Adam always made him smile, he was always so enthusiastic about everything. They finished breakfast, Adam signed the tab and stood up to leave.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

Tommy thought for a moment as they walked side by side. He shrugged. "I don't know, walk on the beach, I guess?" He looked up at Adam.

Adam grinned down at him, before leaning down and kissing him lightly on the lips. "Whatever you want, baby. Let's take a walk."

Tommy tried very hard to ignore the flip flop his heart and stomach did at that just barely there kiss from Adam. He smiled up at Adam and followed him out to the beach, their hands bumping casually as they walked. Adam pulled him toward the water and Tommy laughed pulling back not wanting to get his shoes wet. Adam just pushed him down into the sand and pulled them off. He hauled Tommy up and hoisted him up over his shoulder and ran toward the water.

"Adam, no!" Tommy protested, laughing as he kicked and beat on Adam's back ineffectually with his hands.

Adam just ignored him and went calf deep into the water. "You wanna get wet, Tommy Joe?"

"No, no," Tommy laughed, gasping for breath.

Adam smacked him on the ass. "Oh, I think you do."

Tommy's breath caught in his throat at the smack and he kicked just a tiny bit harder. "No, please, Adam," he begged breathlessly.

Adam smacked his ass again, this time leaving his hand there, balancing Tommy on his shoulder. "Beg me."

His voice sent shivers down Tommy's spine and left him at a loss for words. "Please," Tommy finally whispered. Adam's hands tightened on his hip and his ass and instinctively, Tommy moved into the touch. "Please," he begged.

They both knew he wasn't talking about being thrown in the water, but Adam did it anyway, diving right in after him though, smirking when Tommy came up spluttering.

"You fucker!"

Adam just gave him an impish grin and splashed him with water. Within seconds they were splashing and fighting and trying to pull each other down and under. The fighting and wrestling moved closer and closer to shore until finally Adam was lying on top of Tommy in the wet sand, the water licking at their toes.

"Do you give?" Adam asked, his breath puffing hotly on Tommy's face.

Unable to speak, his heart practically trip-hammering out of his chest and his lungs feeling like they were going to burst from lack of oxygen, Tommy nodded. Adam leaned down and licked his way into Tommy's mouth. Tommy moaned into the kiss, dug his fingers into Adam's thick black hair and pulled him closer until they were both breathless.

"To the victor go the spoils," Adam whispered hotly into his ear.

Tommy felt his face flush at the images those words created in his head. He stroked his fingers through Adam's hair wanting so desperately to tell Adam he was all his for the taking. And then throwing caution to the wind, he did.

"Then take them," he said raggedly, his pupils blown with arousal. "I'm all yours."

Adam's eyes widened for a second and Tommy's face reddened but then Adam was kissing him, licking inside his mouth, their erections pressed together and all thoughts flew from his head. Adam had his hands in Tommy's hair, stroking it, smoothing it down while they kissed. He gasped when water washed over his legs. He pulled back to see Tommy laughing and he joined him.

"Unless we want to LARP _From Here to Eternity_ we should probably take this inside." He stood up and offered his hand down to Tommy who took it gratefully and pulled himself up and into Adam's arms.

~*~*~

Adam kept Tommy's hand in his as they walked back to their room. Once the sliding glass door was closed behind them, they were stripping out of their wet swim trunks and stumbling toward the bed. Hands and limbs tangled, teeth clashed and tongues slid against one another, the kissing hot and filthy until Tommy was underneath Adam and looking up at him.

Adam stilled, brushed the blond fringe off Tommy's forehead. Tommy felt Adam's heart pounding against his own skin as he closed his eyes and pushed into Adam's touch. Adam took a deep breath and bit his lip. He bent down and gently kissed Tommy on the lips, teasing them apart with his tongue, licking delicately inside, caressing Tommy's tongue with his own.

Tommy felt Adam's hand trail down his arm until their hands met and their fingers entwined. He could tell that Adam wanted to take his time, to savor every second of this. Adam explored Tommy's body, tasting his skin everywhere, licking and biting and following his responses. Adam focused his attention on Tommy's nipples when a stray lick brought him arching up off the bed. He smiled and sucked them both until they were red and puffy and Tommy was clutching at his shoulders and babbling incoherently.

He licked his way down Tommy's belly, laughing when he hit a ticklish spot that made Tommy giggle and the look in his eyes told Tommy he was vowing to remember it for later. He nosed at Tommy's cock nestled amongst brown wiry curls and licked the tip of it when Tommy's hands curled in his hair. He nudged Tommy's thighs apart, licking and sucking at his balls. Adam pushed Tommy's legs up, spreading him open, baring his entrance to Adam's piercing gaze.

He stroked over it with the pad of his finger, watching as it tightened in response. He kissed Tommy's inner thigh, sucking up a mark and then let his tongue trail all the way down to lick lightly over Tommy's hole.

"Fuck, Adam," Tommy groaned, tightening his fist in Adam's hair.

Adam just smiled and licked a broad stripe right across the circular muscle. The sound that elicited from Tommy must have shot straight to Adam's cock because Tommy could feel it hot and pulsing against his skin. Adam darted his tongue out again, lightly teasing at Tommy's entrance. He licked it, nibbled it, and finally probed it, and it relaxed under his ministrations until he could get his tongue inside the first ring of muscle.

He pulled back and scrounged around for the lube and condoms in the bag at the side of the bed. Hurriedly, he lubed up his fingers and slid one inside. Tommy thrust against him and his finger went all the way in past his second knuckle. He placed his free hand on Tommy's hip, holding him tightly. "Slowly," he whispered.

He fucked Tommy with his finger, adding a second, a third, and even a fourth, the heat of Tommy surrounding his fingers and making his eyes get that glazed over look Tommy loved so much. He pulled out and ripped the condom open, quickly sliding it down and lubing it up.

Adam looked down at Tommy who gazed back at him with heavy-lidded eyes. He bent down and kissed him softly on the mouth, Tommy's lips opening immediately. He wrapped Tommy's legs around his waist and slowly started to slide into him. Tommy whimpered into his mouth but Adam swallowed the sound with his kiss and continued the slow push inside.

When he was fully seated, he paused and everything went still. Tommy opened his eyes and looked up at him and Adam had to clench his jaw at the look of utter trust on Tommy's face. Tommy knew from the emotions on his face that Adam was overwhelmed and he was barely restraining his orgasm.

They stared at each other for several long moments before Tommy nodded almost imperceptibly and that's when Adam started to move. Slow, long, deep thrusts in and out until Tommy was begging him to move faster.  
Adam swiveled his hips a bit and Tommy arched up into him as Adam's cock rubbed directly over his prostate. Adam lost control then, his thrusts going hard and fast. Tommy reached down and started stroking his cock, Adam watched as the rhythm got faster and faster and finally Tommy was shouting out his orgasm and Adam could see the short ropy strands landing on Tommy's belly. But the best part of all was Tommy's face because in that moment Tommy was at his most beautiful.

It didn't take much after that for Adam to chase his own orgasm to completion and collapse in a heap just to the side of Tommy, his head pillowed on Tommy's chest. They both lay there for several minutes, floating in the afterglow.

Tommy wasn't sure how long they lay there, but just when he felt sleep tugging at him, Adam dragged himself up to deal with the condom and grab a wash cloth. He cleaned himself off and then came back out to clean Tommy off as well. He slid back into the bed with Tommy, lying down behind him and pulling him in close. Tommy felt Adam kiss his head and let sleep tug at him again, knowing they'd have to deal with the fallout the next morning, but for now, they could just sleep.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Tommy jerked awake and rubbed his face, blinking blearily to figure out just where the fuck he was and then he saw Adam in the bed and it all came rushing back to him. Again. "Fuck," he muttered and then looked around sheepishly to make sure Leila wasn't within earshot. She'd left earlier after he'd come back from a restless night of sleep at home. When he didn't see her he turned back to the bed, to Adam and his heart clenched painfully. He stretched his hand out and grabbed Adam's, stroking his thumb over the back of it.

"Adam, you have to come back to me. Please, baby, I need you. Come back to me please?"

~*~*~

Adam could hear the voices around him. Tommy's voice. His mom's voice. Neil's voice. They all sounded so sad and he couldn't figure out why. There was all this darkness surrounding him and he couldn't seem to find his way out of it. So he settled back into his memories, those were happy enough.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~


	3. Chapter 3

  
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Part Three

 _Three Years Earlier_

Adam flicked a glance over at Tommy as he packed. Tommy was chewing his lip nervously as he waited for Adam to respond. He'd just told Adam they were going canoeing for vacation. Adam suspected that Tommy really needed the trip this year because he and Kara had been fighting – turned out the second year of marriage was harder than the first.

Adam looked at Tommy incredulously. "We're doing what?"

"We're canoeing in Canada. So pack some warm clothes, because even though it's August it can get chilly up there at night."

"So, I take you to Mexico to a resort to go scuba diving and you're going to drag my ass up to Canada and make me go camping?"

Tommy turned to look at Adam who was working himself into a full on snit, complete with pouting lips and hands on his hips. He couldn't help but crack a smile and had to suppress his laughter. "Oh come on, it won't be that bad. It's only a three days of roughing it. You'll only have to eat freeze dried food once. I promise."

He bit his lip as he looked at Adam who was trying to glare at him as he held his toiletry bag over his suitcase.

"Look, it's gonna be fun. We fly in to Toronto, spend the night, drive up to the site the next day, take our time. We'll spend the night in a hotel again, with room service, I promise. Then we'll do our three day canoe trip. We'll come back to Toronto and spend another day or two there.  
Maybe more if we drive the same day we finish with the canoeing."

He walked over to Adam and grabbed his belt loops, twisting his hips a bit. "Please? I promise this will be fun," he looked up into Adam's eyes.

Adam stared at him for a long moment, his mouth twitching. Adam rolled his eyes and caved because he could never resist Tommy. Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam's waist. Adam kissed the top of his head. "You so owe me, Ratliff," he growled.

Adam felt the ripple of energy that went through Tommy at his words when he shivered. They never spent a lot of time talking about what went on during their trips when they were back in the 'real world', just like they didn't talk about Kara or Adam's boyfriends while they were on vacation. Their time together was just for them – a chance for both of them to dream about what could have been if things had worked out differently, a chance to lose themselves in each other and say all the things they had to keep quiet when they were around other people.

Adam sighed, tossing his toiletry bag into his suitcase. He frowned, looking at the clothes he packed. He turned to Tommy, a helpless look on his face. "I think I'm gonna need some help."

And after much laughter on Tommy's part and feigned indignance on Adam's part, they finished packing Adam's bags together. They headed to the airport that afternoon and caught their flight with no problems. Tommy slept the majority of the flight, pressed up against Adam's side and resting his head on Adam's shoulder while Adam enjoyed the closeness and the scent of Tommy's shampoo.

They spent the night in a decent hotel and got up early the next morning to drive to Killarney Park in Ontario. Once they were there, they signed in, picked up all their gear and arranged to have a last full meal until their return and spend the night. They went to bed early that night so they could get started early the next morning.

Adam groaned when the alarm went off.

"I don't want to hear it, Lambert. Remember that first morning in Cancun? You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn to go diving. Now it's my turn. Get your ass out of that bed. We've got canoeing to do today."

Adam groaned again and pulled the covers up over his head. "Make me," he growled.

Adam wasn't even sure what happened next but suddenly the covers were gone and Tommy was tickling him. He pushed his hands down to protect his sides and Tommy went after his feet. He drew those up and Tommy went after his knees. He was like a fucking octopus. "Okay, okay! I'm getting up. Just please, stop tickling."

Tommy laughed and Adam couldn't help but smile at Tommy's flushed cheeks. Tommy got off the bed, slapping Adam on the thigh. "Get moving."

Adam growled good-naturedly, got up and headed toward the bathroom.

Two hours later they were on the water. Adam looked around as they paddled. "It really is beautiful up here. And the air is so much cleaner than in LA."

"Told ya," Tommy smiled at him smugly.

Adam smiled sweetly at him, dipping his oar into the water and splashing Tommy in the face.

"Fucker!" Tommy spluttered, his hair dripping water down his face. "I  
can't believe you just did that! I'm gonna be wet all day now."

Adam rolled his eyes. "And they say I'm the drama queen. You heard the guy back at the outfitter place. It's supposed to get up into the 70's today. You'll dry off in no time."

Tommy glared at him and Adam just laughed.

They stopped for lunch at one of the hundreds of small islands along the way. Grudgingly Adam admitted he was having fun. It was nice to get away from everything, the smog, the noise, the technology.

Adam looked over at Tommy and smirked. "Hey, how are you going to survive without your iPhone?"

Tommy shrugged. "It's only three days. I'll be okay. I called Kara right before we left, she was heading out with some of her artist friends. Again," he muttered as he took a bite of his sandwich. They finished their lunch in silence, Tommy distracted by his thoughts. He checked his watch when he was done and looked at the sky. "We should go."

They cleaned up their lunch site, bagged the trash and got back into the canoe. The afternoon was a bit harder because they were working against the wind. When they finally reached their destination for the night they were tired but feeling accomplished. Tommy pushed them to get the tent and sleeping bag set up. Adam watched as Tommy fixed dinner. Sandwiches with some apples and carrot sticks. They had milk to wash it down with, the ultra pasteurized stuff that completely fascinated him.

By the time they finished eating, it was growing dark. Tommy stoked up the fire and they roasted some marshmallows. They sat staring at the fire for a while, Tommy pressed up against Adam's side, Adam's arm around his shoulders keeping him warm.

"We should probably get to bed," Tommy said softly.

"Mmm."

Tommy got up, put the fire out, and then Adam followed him into the tent. They watched each other as they stripped off their jeans and hoodies.  
Adam stared as Tommy slowly got undressed and then pulled on the long underwear he'd brought and noticed Tommy's stare when he did the same a moment later. The only time their eyes broke contact was when they finally bent down to get into the double sleeping bag.

Immediately, Tommy shifted over to Adam's side, resting his head on Adam's chest, Adam's arm holding him close. Adam kissed the top of his head and smiled when he felt Tommy's lips curl up into a smile as well. Tommy's hand on his waist tightened and Adam tightened his grip on Tommy. They fell asleep soon after.

~*~*~

Adam was the first to wake. He blinked and tried to move his arm, trying not to panic when he couldn't. He looked around but a head of blond hair completely obscured his vision. He realized that Tommy's head was lying on his arm. Adam smiled softly, nuzzling into Tommy's hair. Tommy was spooned up against him, close enough that there was barely any space between them at all. The closeness made Adam hard as a rock in seconds and he felt his erection pressed snug up against the cleft of Tommy's backside.

Adam bit his lip trying to hold back the moan that was threatening to spill out. That was when he realized his other arm was wrapped tightly around Tommy's waist, cuddling him close and that Tommy's hand was firmly holding onto that arm, even in his sleep. He closed his eyes and gently dropped his head forward resting it against Tommy, not wanting to wake him up.

He chewed his lip as his cock continued to throb with arousal against the cushion of Tommy's ass. He ever so slowly, started to move the arm from around Tommy's waist. He'd barely moved it a centimeter when Tommy's hand tightened around his wrist.

"Don't move. Not time to get up yet," he answered sleepily.

"Okay," Adam slid his arm back into place. Tommy shifted a bit, pushing his hips back toward Adam until Adam's erection slipped into place in his crack. Adam bit down on his lip to avoid gasping at the flush of pleasure and ended up biting so hard he drew blood, which he only realized when the coppery taste of it flooded his mouth.

Adam tried to shift and pull his hips back when Tommy reached back and grabbed his ass.

"Stop fidgeting, m'trying to sleep," he growled.

Adam went still for a second and then blew in Tommy's ear. "Are you sure you're sleeping?" He paused for a second, waiting to see if Tommy was still awake. "Tommy, I need –" He stopped, frustrated.

Tommy's hand left his hip and went back to grab his wrist. "You think you're the only one?" he muttered, pulling Adam's hand down to rest on his fully hard cock.

"Yeah?" Adam teased.

Tommy turned in his arms, looking up at Adam, his cheeks tinged the lightest shade of pink. "Yeah." He looked down as if he couldn't look Adam in the eye. "I can't help but react that way around you. Never can."

Adam met his eyes for a brief second and crushed their mouths together. Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and Adam flipped them so Tommy was underneath him. Tommy spread his legs, letting Adam settle between them. Adam ravished Tommy's mouth, sucking on his tongue like he was drowning and Tommy's tongue was air. Tommy twined his fingers in Adam's hair and held on. Adam dominated the kiss, thrusting his tongue in and out until he had to pull back because they were both gasping for air.

He stared down at Tommy until he licked his lips nervously, lowered his eyes and whispered, "What?"

Adam brushed the hair off his forehead. "God, you're beautiful."

Tommy looked up at him through his eyelashes and Adam's heart fluttered in his chest. He dropped his mouth down and met Tommy's in a sweet, tender kiss. His tongue swept across Tommy's lips until they opened underneath him. Their tongues met in a caress this time, not a battle and they twined around each other until Tommy started thrusting his hips up into Adam.

Adam broke the kiss to trail kisses along Tommy's jaw up to his ear, where he sucked the piercing loaded earlobe into his mouth, tonguing each one of them. "Fuck, Tommy, the things you do to me," he whispered.

Tommy grinned and thrust up against him again. This time his cock slid against Adam's making them both groan.

"Ngh, Tommy, you keep doing that and this is going to be over way too soon."

Tommy immediately stilled underneath him and Adam licked down his neck, sucking a mark up on his collarbone. He pushed Tommy's shirt up and Tommy ripped it over his head. Adam licked his way down Tommy's chest, pausing at his nipples which he nipped, licked, sucked until they were pink and Tommy was writhing with need. "Adam," he pleaded.

Adam gave his nipple one last lick before continuing his path downward. He swirled his tongue around Tommy's belly button, laughing when Tommy giggled. Hooking his thumbs in the waist band of Tommy's long underwear he looked up to see Tommy watching him, worrying his lip between his teeth, his hands fisted in the pillow. Adam winked at him and yanked on the waistband. Tommy closed his eyes as his erection sprang free and Adam's breath caught in his throat.

Adam kissed the tip of Tommy's cock, darting his tongue out to lightly probe the slit and the tiny drop of liquid that had just started to bead up. It was salty, tangy and all Tommy. He probed a bit harder with his tongue and then licked around the whole head. He let Tommy's cock pop out of his mouth as he bent to lick a stripe down the underside of it, his tongue deliberately pressing on the sensitive vein. He nuzzled the hair surrounding the base and dropped his mouth down to lick at Tommy's balls.

"Oh fuck!" Tommy cried out, digging his hands into Adam's hair.

Adam smiled and sucked one ball after the other into his mouth, tonguing them, sucking them, until Tommy pulled his hair so hard it brought tears to his eyes. Only then did he let them drop out of his mouth and shoulder Tommy's legs up and apart. He spread Tommy's cheeks with his thumbs and licked broadly over Tommy's hole. Tommy thrust against him and he formed his tongue into a point and pushed it lightly against the tight ring of muscle. When he met resistance he withdrew and licked around Tommy's entrance, until he felt the muscle start to relax. He thrust his tongue against it and this time it loosened and he was inside Tommy. He could feel the muscle around his tongue tighten and relax. He pulled out and licked again, then thrust his tongue back inside. He alternated broad licks, little teasing jabs and thrusts until Tommy was an incoherent mess above him.

Adam slid back up and wrapped his hand around the base of Tommy's cock and swallowed him whole, sliding his free hand down and palming his own cock.

"HOLY FUCK!" Tommy cried out as his back arched off the ground.

Adam sucked until his cheeks hollowed and then slowly pulled off until just the head was in his mouth. He couldn't help but thrust against his own hand as he bobbed his head back down, grazing the shaft lightly with his teeth until the head hit the back of his throat. Relaxing his throat, he dropped his head further and swallowed. Tommy's grip on his hair tightened again and he started to hum as he repeated the action. His own thrusts started to become erratic.

"A-Adam, I – I'm gonna –" Tommy rasped out breathlessly.

Adam just squeezed his hip in encouragement and hummed louder. Within seconds Tommy was bucking up into him, spurting hot liquid down his throat. As he swallowed Tommy's load, he shuddered with his own orgasm, his cry muffled by Tommy's cock in his mouth. He sucked and licked Tommy's softening shaft, cleaning him off as he drifted back down from his own orgasm.

Tommy tugged at his hair and he pushed back up his body. Tommy's eyes were half-closed, his mouth was slack, his hair was mussed, and his cheeks were flushed. He was the picture of debauched and Adam thought he was hot as fuck. He watched as Tommy tried to focus on him and a half smile appeared on his face.

"Holy shit, Adam," he murmured. His eyes got big as he started to try to work his hands between them. "Fuck, what about you?"

Adam dipped his head until his forehead was resting on the pillow beside Tommy's head. "Um, I already came," he mumbled.

Tommy pushed at him, until Adam was above him looking down at him again. "What?"

"I already came," Adam whispered, his face red.

Tommy gazed at him in surprise. "You – you came from doing that to me?" he asked in amazement.

Adam nodded, ducking his head down again, only to be stopped by Tommy's hand on his face. He met Tommy's gaze for a split second before Tommy pressed their lips together. The moan he let out was swallowed up by Tommy as he pushed his tongue into Adam's mouth. Adam felt him lick around as if he was trying to see how he tasted in Adam's mouth. Adam let him have the lead and eventually Tommy drew back, a smile on his face. "Thank you," Tommy whispered.

Adam turned and kissed his palm and then Tommy drew him down to rest on his chest. He listened to Tommy's heartbeat slow back to its normal rhythm and only when his underwear started to get really cold and sticky did he start to pull off of Tommy. Tommy gripped him tighter. "Where're you going?"

Adam laughed. "Nature calls."

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry. Go. Go." Tommy pushed at him to get up.

Adam laughed, leaned down and kissed the back of his hand, got up, grabbed his bag and left the tent.

Two hours later their campsite was packed up and they were on the water.

"We only have a little over six miles to go today so we can take it easy. Figured we'd take our time, get to the campsite, set our tent up and then we could go swimming if you want."

Adam's face split into a grin. "Swimming?"

"Yeah, it should be warm enough. The water might be cool, but the air should be warm enough as long as the sun's up."

"Sounds like a plan. I must admit, you've planned this out really well."

Tommy flushed with pride and smiled at the praise. "Well, you can find just about everything you need on the internet."

Adam laughed. "That's certainly true."

They went quiet as they paddled, just enjoying the scenery and the weather. It only took them about three hours of very relaxed paddling to make it to the camp site. Adam glanced at Tommy and smiled broadly. "This is, like, the perfect place to camp. Look at all those flat rocks. There's even a cooking area with a fire ring and I think those are raspberry bushes!"

Tommy looked over to where Adam was pointing and laughed. "I think you might be right. Guess we're having raspberries for dessert."

They pulled into shore, on the rocky north end of Frazer Bay. Tommy secured the canoe while Adam staked out a camping spot. "How's this?" he called over to Tommy.

Tommy shaded his eyes and looked over to where Adam was standing. "Looks good. I'll be right there."

They spent the next hour getting the tent set up, the sleeping bag and their bags inside, and stowing their food. The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing around the camp ground and swimming in the warm waters of Frazer Bay. They watched as several other groups set up camp, including a family with a couple of kids. None of the tents were close to theirs, but they could definitely tell they weren't alone as a happy child's laughter carried through the campsite.

They joked over fixing dinner and talked about some of their mutual friends while they ate. Then they sat in front of the fire in silence as the sky darkened overhead. Tommy snuggled up to Adam's side and Adam wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. They sat and watched the fire and listened to it crackle. The kids' laughter in the background soon quieted down and disappeared and all they could hear was the fire and some birds calling in the distance.

Tommy shifted so he could stare at the stars and pointed out several of the constellations to Adam who had trouble deciding whether to look at Tommy or the stars he was pointing to. Before too long though, Tommy stood and put the fire out. "We should head to bed. Early morning tomorrow. Couple hours of canoeing, some portaging, then the trip back to the start and **then** if you want we can drive back to Toronto and sleep in a real bed."

Adam stood up and wrapped Tommy in his arms. "A real bed sounds wonderful, but this has been really nice too." He kissed the top of his head. "I'll meet you in the tent."

Tommy made sure all their food was put away and then joined Adam in the tent. Adam was already curled up in the sleeping bag, wrapped up like a cocoon. "Fucker," Tommy muttered.

"Not sleeping," Adam's voice came to him, muffled by the sleeping bag. "Hurry up, I was just getting it warm for you."

Tommy smiled and stripped down and joined Adam under the covers. Adam immediately pulled Tommy against him until Tommy's head was snuggled up against his neck and Adam's arm was wrapped around his shoulders. Tommy pushed back against him and Adam's arms tightened around his waist. He bent his head forward and kissed the top of Tommy's head. Tommy reached down and wrapped a hand around his forearm.

"Good night, Adam," he whispered.

"Nite, baby," Adam whispered back, kissing his temple this time.

Tommy nuzzled in a bit further and then settled and soon they were both asleep.

~*~*~

Adam was dreaming and it was a very good dream. He moaned a bit in his sleep, shifting under the heavy weight that was pressing him down. In his dream, that weight was Tommy, lithe little Tommy who was currently riding his cock. "Fuck, Tommy," he murmured. And then he felt something tight and hot surround his cock and instantly he was awake.

Or maybe he was still dreaming.

He blinked looking right into the lust-filled eyes of Tommy who was actually riding his thigh. "Oh God, Tommy?" he moaned as he pushed himself up onto his elbows.

Tommy's eyes whipped open and he looked down at Adam. "Whoops" he mumbled with a grin.

Adam snaked a hand out and wrapped around Tommy's waist. "Nice way to wake up." He stroked a finger over Tommy's face. "Sometimes I feel like I live for our vacations."

"Me too," Tommy admitted.

Adam leaned up and kissed him softly on the mouth. "I know," he whispered, pulling Tommy down as he lay back.

He threaded his fingers through Tommy's hair, pushing it back from his face as they kissed. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer, their tongues dancing together until they pulled away.

Adam nudged Tommy's nose with his own when he saw the worried look in his eyes. "Stop thinking," he thrust against Tommy, who's eyes fluttered shut and a moan slipped from between his lips. Adam bit his own lip, biting back a groan of pleasure. "Fuck, Tommy, how do you do this to me?"

"Do what?" Tommy asked softly, leaning down to suck Adam's ear into his mouth.

"Drive me so crazy I forget my number one rule?"

Tommy stilled and Adam's hands tightened on him.

Adam opened his eyes. "At least when we're here, the rules don't matter," he said roughly, thrusting up again, knowing it would derail Tommy's thoughts again. He knew he was right, when Tommy rolled his hips down and went back to sucking his earlobe.

He gripped Tommy's hips, his fingers tight against Tommy's skin, guiding him as he rolled them back and forth, rubbing over his erection. "Too many clothes," he murmured, pulling at Tommy's hoodie with his fingers.

Tommy leaned back and stripped his hoodie off and then knelt up so he could rip both of their sweat pants off. Adam watched as Tommy stretched to reach his bag, rifling through it for a moment before coming up triumphantly with a condom and some lube. Adam stared transfixed as Tommy squirted the lube onto his hand and reached behind himself. He swallowed hard as Tommy let out a moan when the first of his fingers breached his hole.

"Oh fuck, Tommy," Adam breathed out.

Tommy's eyes fluttered open and the arousal Adam saw mirrored there was palpable. He rubbed his hands soothingly up and down Tommy's thighs as he added a second finger. Tommy's head dropped towards his chest, his mouth slack as he worked himself open.

Adam just watched, entranced, until Tommy wiped his hand on his sweat pants, ripped open the condom and slid it over Adam's erect cock. Before Adam even realized what was happening, Tommy was lowering himself over his hastily lubed erection and he was engulfed in tight, wet, heat. "Fuck!"  
he cried out, thrusting his hips up impulsively.

Tommy pressed his hands down on Adam's shoulders and shook his head, grunting out a rushed, "No, let me. I promise I'll make it good."

Adam nodded wordlessly and Tommy leaned back up, bending back and resting his hands on Adam's thighs for leverage. Slowly, he started to work himself up and down on Adam's cock, Adam's hands loosely gripping his hips, guiding him. Adam watched him, blond fringe falling over one half of his face, sweat starting to bead up on his shoulders, and his nipples hardening in the slight chill in the air. He reached up and rubbed his thumb over one, loving the way it hardened up at his touch.

He watched as Tommy bit his lip, muffling a cry of pleasure that slipped out as he worked himself up and down on Adam's cock. Adam dropped his hand back down to Tommy's hip, gripping him more tightly. He pressed his fingers in as Tommy started to move faster. Adam could feel his orgasm building at the base of his spine. He bent his knees and planted his feet, changing the angle and making Tommy cry out again.

"Adam, fuck!" Tommy arched forward and placed his hands on Adam's chest. "Do it," he whispered.

Adam started thrusting up into Tommy, hitting his prostate with every stroke. Tommy's hands fisted on his chest, his blunt nails digging into Adam's pale skin. "Come on, Tommy Joe, come for me, let go and come for me," he growled.

He let go of Tommy's hip and wrapped a fist around his cock and stroked it hard and fast, his thumb pressing into the slit.

"Nghhh," Tommy groaned, screwing himself down on Adam's cock and up into his fist.

Adam felt the heat surrounding his cock clench and tighten and suddenly Tommy was coming all over his hand. He stroked him through his orgasm and grabbed his hips tightly and thrust up forcefully several more times until he was coming himself just as Tommy collapsed forward onto his chest. Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy, lightly stroking his back, the only sound in the tent the still frantic pace of their breathing.

They lay in each others' arms until their breathing slowed and their heart rates returned to normal. Tommy was the first to move. Slowly, he pulled himself off of Adam and rolled to the side.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Adam rolled onto his side and stroked a hand through his hair. He leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "You know I'd do anything for you, Tommy Joe," he said softly.

Tommy nodded and burrowed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around him, and they lay there, not talking about the thing they were both thinking about – Kara.

~*~*~

"Oh my God, I need a shower," Adam exclaimed, walking into the hotel room and dropping his bag. He really wanted to just crawl into bed, but he just couldn't do that, not the way he smelled.

"Yeah, you really do."

"Shut up, you should talk," Adam retorted. He watched as Tommy tried to surreptitiously sniff his armpit. In two strides he was over wrapping him in a fake chokehold. "You are such a girl."

"Adam!" Tommy protested, pushing against his side and laughing.

Adam let him go with a swat to his backside. "Wanna share the shower?"

Tommy started stripping, running to the bathroom and calling over his shoulder, "First one in gets to choose the temperature."

"Fucker," Adam took off after him.

They jockeyed for position with Adam finally winning and turning the water on scalding hot. Tommy hid behind him trying only to get hit by spray that bounced off Adam. "Fuck, you like it hot."

Adam turned around and leered at him. "You know I do."

Tommy just rolled his eyes and shoved him aside to grab the soap.

They played in the shower, kissing, touching, teasing, and only washing up when Tommy started complaining of feeling tired. Adam shut the water off and Tommy tossed him a towel. Adam was starting to feel the effects of their trip as well. He toweled off quickly and then bundled Tommy into the bed.

He pulled Tommy up against him, their lips meeting in another kiss. "God, I want you so much," Adam whispered.

Tommy nodded against his chest. "I know. Tired though."

Adam kissed his temple. "Me, too. Morning?"

"Definitely," Tommy answered sleepily.

 _I love you,_ Adam thought to himself, kissing Tommy one more time before letting sleep take him.

~*~*~

They spent two relaxing days in Toronto, seeing the sites, eating out, sleeping in, and enjoying each other. And then all too soon they were on a plane back to LA. They got their bags and went out to Adam's car. The drive to Tommy's house was made in almost complete silence. When Adam parked the car, they just sat there for a moment. Tommy reached over and grabbed Adam's hand and squeezed it.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Adam pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. "Thank you." He kissed Tommy's temple. "Better go, I'm sure Kara's waiting for you."

"Call me?" Tommy asked.

Adam smiled. "Always. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Tommy gave him one last smile and got out of the car, grabbing his bag from the backseat. Adam watched him walk up the sidewalk to the front door. It opened and he waved at Kara who smiled and waved back. He tried to look away when Tommy hugged her, tried not to notice the way Tommy's eyes met his over her shoulder. He had to close his eyes at the look of longing and regret he saw mirrored there. He opened them just in time to see Tommy give him a final wave and go inside and shut the door.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"Tommy," Adam moaned.

Tommy jerked awake and sat up. "Adam?"

"Tommy?" Adam moaned again. "Don't leave me, please don't leave me. I just – I love you."

Tommy grabbed his hand. "What? Adam? Adam?" Frantically he looked around for the nurse call button and when he found it, he punched it repeatedly.

A nurse came running in. "What's wrong?"

"He's talking! He's talking!"

They looked back at Adam and his eyes were moving rapidly underneath his lids and his lips were moving. Tommy leaned forward trying to hear what he was saying.

"Tommy? Fuck, hate saying goodbye. Hurts."

Tommy smiled as the nurse looked at him.

"I'll let the Doctor know he's starting to come around."

He nodded at her and she left the room.

Tommy sat back down by the bed. He put his hand on Adam's forehead. "I'm right here, baby. I'm right here. I'm not leaving. I promise. Not leaving you. Come back to me. Please, please come back to me. I – we – we need to talk."

He bent his head forward, resting it on the bed beside Adam's hand and never saw Kara standing outside the door, watching through the glass.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Two Years Earlier_

Kara's cell phone vibrated on the nightstand and Tommy picked it up without thinking, but no one spoke when he answered. "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?" Tommy frowned at the phone in his hand, wondered who 'Sam' was and then hung it up, tossing it on Kara's side of the bed just as she came out of the bathroom.

"Who was that?"

"Someone named Sam? Except he didn't say anything. Who's Sam?"

"Sam?" Kara's face colored a tiny bit and she giggled, sounding nervous for some reason. "Sam? Oh, he's just… just one of my students in my life drawing class. Weird, wonder why he'd be calling this late?"

Tommy shrugged. "Maybe he butt dialed you."

Kara giggled again and Tommy joined her until his phone interrupted them.

He grabbed it. "It's Adam, I better answer, he never calls this late either."

"You okay?" Tommy answered quickly.

"D-Drake."

Tommy looked up sheepishly as Kara nudged his foot. He spoke softly, away from the mouthpiece. "Something about Drake, he's really upset. I'm gonna go into the other room."

She leaned over and kissed him. "Okay, sweetie. Give Adam my love, okay? Ask him to come to dinner tomorrow."

He nodded his head and kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room. "Sorry, hang on. Kara's getting ready for bed. I'm leaving the bedroom though, give me a minute, I'm going into the office."

Tommy quickly walked down the hallway to his office, listening to Adam's breathing over the phone. "Adam, are you crying? What happened? Talk to me," he said as he sat in the chair behind his desk.

"It's D-Drake, we broke up."

Tommy's heart ached as he heard Adam break down over the phone. His arms hurt with the need to hold him and all the time he kept a watchful eye on the door, sure Kara was going to walk in on him at any second. Not that he had anything to hide at the moment, but still. It was Adam.

"Oh fuck, Adam, I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

He was silent, listening to Adam on the other end.

"I don't know. I thought Drake was… I thought we'd… Tommy, it just hurts. My heart hurts."

Tommy blinked against the sudden rush of hot tears. Hearing Adam this broken made it feel like a big gaping hole had been ripped open in his chest. "Want me to come over?" he blurted out without even thinking.

The sniffling stopped.

Tommy was quiet as he waited for Adam to answer.

"No, no I'll be okay. I'm not sure about our trip though."

Tommy's heart flipped over in his chest and dropped like a stone. "What do you mean?"

"I won't be very good company."

"Fuck that. Our trip is exactly what you need. You need to get away and get your mind off this." _And I need to see you alone, spend some real time with you, I **need** this trip as much as you do,_ Tommy thought to himself, glancing uncomfortably at the door of his office again. "Besides, since when do you worry about entertaining me? You're going."

Adam sniffed. "Okay, but I'll probably be moping and crying."

"Not if I can help it," Tommy chided him. "Tell you what, why don't you let me plan it? Okay? I'll plan something so fun that you won't have time to mope and by the time we get back to the room at night, you'll be too exhausted to think about crying."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise, Adam. I promise."

"Okay."

They were silent for a few minutes, Tommy just there on the line, listening as Adam's sniffles slowed to a stop. "I better let you go get some sleep," Adam said softly.

"You sure? I mean, I can stay here if you need me to."

"I'm sure. I'm better now. Still hurts like fuck, but I'm better right now."

"Okay, but only if you're sure."

"I am."

"Okay. Call me tomorrow? Oh, Kara wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow."

"I'll be there. What time?"

"I don't know, eightish?"

Adam laughed softly. "I'll be there about eight."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Tommy. You're really… thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Night."

"Night, Adam."

Tommy hung up and pressed the phone against his chin, thinking and wondering what had happened between Adam and Drake. He knew from experience that they would get some of the story at dinner but, he knew he wouldn't find out what really happened between Adam and his now ex-boyfriend until their trip.

Adam came over the next night for dinner and Kara wrapped him up in a big hug as soon as she answered the door. She kissed his cheek. "I'm so sorry, honey, what happened?"

Tommy could see Adam biting his lip and fighting tears as he started to speak.

"Drake, he – he said I didn't really love him. He's been acting weird for a while. He keeps asking me where I've been, who I'm out with. I think he thinks I'm cheating on him."

Kara cleared her throat and looked at the floor.

Tommy squeezed Adam's arm. "I'm so sorry, man, shit." Tommy hung his head, unable to ignore the feeling of guilt washing over him at the thought that he might have ruined Adam's chances for another relationship.

Kara coughed again and pulled him into another hug, squeezing him tight. "Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. She pulled back, her hands at his elbows. "I made your favorite."

He reached up and wiped the tears off her face and she smiled. "Really? You mean that salad with the chicken and the blue cheese?"

She nodded her head happily. "Yeah, and some homemade gazpacho and guacamole and I even made chocolate chip cookies for dessert."

Adam looked at the two of them, his face full of love for them both. He reached out and pulled them to his chest. "Thanks you, guys. God, I love you both so much," he whispered.

Tommy reached around and hugged Adam's waist and got a little squeeze around his shoulders in return.

Adam pulled back to look at them, a forced smile firmly in place on his face. "So, enough moping. Show me the food."

He wrapped an arm around Kara's waist and let her lead him back toward the kitchen with Tommy trailing along behind them.

They ate dinner, made small talk, and Adam put on a brave face. But both Tommy and Kara could see it for what it was. The two of them exchanged worried glances throughout the meal as Adam regaled them with tales of a client and laughed a bit too brightly at his own jokes. He helped them clear the table and then Kara shooed him out into the living area.

As soon as Adam left the kitchen she turned to Tommy, her green eyes filled with tears. "We should ask him to stay the night. The guest room is always ready and, Tommy, I don't think he should be alone. He's so upset."

"Okay, I'll ask him to stay."

He left to go find Adam finding him in the family room, sitting on the couch, staring at nothing. Tommy sat down beside him, laid his head on Adam's shoulder. "You should spend the night," he said softly.

Adam turned to look down at him in surprise.

Tommy smiled gently. "Kara says the guest bedroom is all made up. She's worried about you. I think she wants to keep an eye on you."

Adam grinned at that. "She always was good at taking care of us," he said softly.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I didn't bring anything –"

"S'okay, you've got clothes that you've left here. I think Kara keeps them in that room for you, just in case."

"Okay," Adam murmured. They sat there leaning against each other until Kara joined them about fifteen minutes later, sitting on the other side of Adam, her head on his shoulder. She put her hand on his thigh, palm up and he wrapped her small hand in his large one.

When they said their goodnights, Kara hugged Adam hard, squeezing him as if her life depended on it. "I'm glad you came over tonight," she whispered.

Adam swallowed hard and hugged her back. "I'm glad I did, too."

Tommy hugged him as well. "Hey, you going to be okay?"

Adam nodded his head and Tommy pressed his lips together, nodding his head. He watched Adam go into the guest bedroom and push the door almost closed before he turned and headed back into the master bedroom.

Tommy and Kara lay next to each other in the dark, staring at the ceiling, talking softly.

"I hate seeing him like this," she whispered. "It breaks my heart. He's just –" She paused, at a loss for words.

"Adam," Tommy finished for her.

She smiled, "Yeah, he's Adam. He's always been that for both of us, since we were kids and to see him like this –"

"It's killing me," Tommy whispered.

She reached across the bed, grabbing his hand and they held onto each other, hurting for their best friend. It wasn't long before they fell asleep like that.

A noise startled Kara awake a short time later. She sat up in bed for a moment and then shook Tommy's shoulder. "Tommy," she whispered.

"Ngh," he mumbled, burrowing deeper into the pillow.

"Tommy!" she hissed at him.

"Wha-what?" he turned over to look at her blearily.

"It's Adam," she whispered.

"What's Adam?" Tommy asked, rubbing his eye with his palm.

"Listen."

Tommy went silent and that's when he heard it. It was faint, but it was there, the unmistakable sound of someone crying.

"I'm going in there," she said, throwing the covers off and padding barefoot toward the door.

"Wait." Tommy scrambled out of the bed himself. "I'll go with you."

The two of them padded quietly to Adam's room. Kara opened the door and Adam rolled over and looked at them. He swiped angrily at his eyes and his face flushed red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he hiccupped. "Did I wake you?"

Tommy shook his head as he and Kara crawled into bed with Adam, one on either side. They both laid their heads on his chest and instinctively he wrapped his arms around both of them. They snuggled into his sides, just like they used to do when they were kids and they had sleepovers. Tommy and Kara looked at each other and linked their hands over Adam's stomach.

The three of them stayed like that until Adam stopped crying and kissed them both on the top of the head and finally fell asleep. Kara and Tommy fell asleep shortly after.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"Fuck! That's it!" Tommy jerked away from the bed. He looked toward the door for the nurse and then back at Adam lying there in front of him. "Okay, I'm going to try to be real careful and not bump you too much, but you need to move over, baby." He went around to the other side of the bed, the side where Adam had fewer injuries. He placed Adam's arm gently on his chest, and pushed his leg closer to the other one. _It's not much, but it will have to do, good thing I'm tiny,_ he thought.

He glanced furtively at the door one more time, before toeing his shoes off and climbing onto the bed beside Adam. He curled himself protectively around the larger man, resting his head carefully on Adam's shoulder.

~*~*~

From outside the room Kara watched and tears sprang to her eyes. She turned as the nurse came back and gasped at the sight. She reached out and grabbed the nurse's arm, stopping her from going into the room.

"Don't," she said firmly, tears spilling out over her cheeks. "He's not hurting him, and I think it's going to help. It's what we used to do when we were kids and one of us was hurt. We'd always curl up around the one that was hurting and it seemed to make it go away faster."

She turned to look at the nurse, her green eyes shining and her cheeks wet. "See, Adam and Tommy were picked on a lot as kids. Adam didn't always look like that. When we were little, he was a chubby little thing with red hair and Tommy was always tiny. As you can imagine, they were easy targets for bullies, at least until I was big enough to intimidate most of them."

She sniffed, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. "So, when one of them was hurt, we'd all go home together pile on the bed, and we'd cuddle until he felt better." She smiled at the nurse through her tears. "Still seems to work sometimes," she whispered, turning back to look at her husband and their best friend cuddled together on the bed. "But only sometimes," she said so softly the nurse didn't hear.

Kara took a deep breath in and turned back to look at the nurse, her look determined. "So, as long as he's not hurting Adam or disturbing him, will you please let him stay like that? Please?"

The nurse nodded sympathetically, putting a hand on Kara's shoulder and squeezing lightly as they both returned their gaze to the room just as Tommy started to talk.

~*~*~

"Adam, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to try this anyway. Do you remember our trip to Disneyland? You had just broken up with Drake and we'd all slept together just like when we were kids." Tommy chuckled softly. "That next morning, oh man, it was a bit awkward at first and then like always, you were the one that made us all laugh and somehow we were all ten again and cuddling in bed together." He stroked Adam's chest with his fingers. "I miss this, you know," he whispered. "I miss the cuddling when we're not on one of our trips and we have to pretend."

He went silent for a brief moment as he fought back tears. He swallowed hard, angrily wiping his face as a tear rolled down his nose. "So, Disneyland," he started.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~~

 _Two Years Earlier_

"Adam!" Tommy pounded on the door. "Let me in, I'm not leaving. We are going on this trip if I have to come in there and drag you out. Now, COME ON!" Tommy pounded on the door again in frustration.

"Tommy?"

Tommy whirled around to see Adam standing behind him, a mischievous smile on his face.

"What? Wait, I thought you were inside!" Tommy spluttered indignantly.

"I was, then I decided to come around and see what all the fuss was." Adam smiled at him, but Tommy could see the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Tommy smiled and nodded. "Okay, then. So, you ready to go?"

"Just about. I just need to grab a couple more things." He pushed the door open and Tommy followed him inside. He stood by the door and Adam's bags while he waited. He glanced around, his eyes lighting on his favorite picture. The left side of the frame held a picture of the three of them taken after a baseball game when they were twelve. The right side changed every year, when Adam filled it with a new picture of the three of them from some outing. This year it was a picture of the three of them all dressed up at an event at an art gallery opening Kara had dragged them to with half her class.

"I love that picture," Adam whispered in his ear, making him jump.

"Fucker," Tommy whispered, jabbing him in the side with his elbow.

Adam laughed and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him in close and kissing the top of his head. "Come on, let's get these bags loaded into my car so you can tell me where we're going."

Tommy's smile spread across his face, his eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh, you're going to love it!"

Tommy followed him out to the car and they loaded the trunk, Tommy hopped into the passenger side and Adam turned to look at him. "So, where to?"

"Disneyland."

"Disneyland?" Adam asked him, incredulous.

"Yup, Disneyland. We've got reservations at the Grand Californian hotel. I was able to score us a vacation package, including the room, tickets to the parks, a character dinner and a breakfast, and a few other things, too."

Adam's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Tommy grinned, relief showing plainly on his face. "You like it?"

"I love it!" Adam stretched an arm across the gearshift and hugged him hard. "Thank you," he whispered and Tommy squeezed him back.

"All right, let's go." Adam pulled back, shifted the car into gear, and they took off toward Anaheim.

A little while later they drove up in front of the hotel and got out. Adam handed the valet their keys and they walked into the lobby. Adam worked his usual magic with the cast member assigned to check them in and got them upgraded to a Concierge room. Tommy just stood back and watched him work, a pleased smile on his face because Adam was already coming out of his funk.

Adam collected all the paperwork, including their park tickets, handed Tommy a key, grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the elevator. "If we hurry, we might be able to get some rides in today."

Tommy laughed at his enthusiasm even though he could see it wasn't completely mirrored in his eyes. He had a whole week to get the sparkle back into them and he was determined to succeed. He followed Adam up to the room, gazing around in appreciation. "This is great!"

They walked through the one-bedroom suite that included a California King bed, a large tub and shower in the bathroom, a sitting area, and a bar. They walked out onto the balcony and looked at their perfect view.  
Adam pulled Tommy's head to his chest, kissing the top of it. "Come on, let's go hit the park."

They grabbed their park passes and headed out because Adam insisted he wanted to go to Fantasyland. Tommy rolled his eyes and let Adam drag him around, vowing to himself that they were starting early in the morning at California Adventure on a roller coaster. They rode all the kiddie rides including Peter Pan and It's a Small World, which of course Adam declared the best ride ever. Tommy shot him a withering glare.

"I'm going to have that damn song stuck in my head all night."

"Not if I can help it," Adam retorted.

Tommy's face immediately reddened and Adam laughed, pulling him toward Disney's version of the French Quarter for a ride on Pirates of the Caribbean, which Tommy actually enjoyed quite a bit. There was a restaurant inside the ride and he made a note to look it up when they got back to the room. They ended up eating dinner at Café Orleans because it was right there near the Pirate ride.

When they finished their meal, they sat there and Adam finally fell silent, his face pensive. Tommy reached across the table and tapped his hand.

"You want to go back to the room and watch the World of Color lightshow from there? Our balcony has to have a great view of it."

"You sure the balcony's not too high for you?"

Tommy nodded. "I'll be okay. I'll just pull my chair back closer to the door, plus, you'll be there with me."

A small smile appeared on Adam's face. "Yeah, let's go back to the room. I'm kinda tired."

They signed for their bill and made their way back toward the entrance and finally their hotel. When they got in the room, Adam headed into the bathroom, saying he wanted to shower. Tommy called down and spoke to the concierge about the restaurant he'd seen and was able to make reservations for dinner in two night's time. He also made reservations for the wine restaurant at the California park for the next night.

He called Kara while he waited. He thought she'd said she was going dancing with some friend, but when she picked up he could only hear one man's voice in the background. Kara seemed distracted so Tommy kept the call brief. When he hung up, he started wondering who the man was but then Adam came out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel, another towel slung haphazardly around his waist and Tommy lost his train of thought. Adam flopped down on the bed and Tommy had to turn his head. Adam reached out and grabbed his hand. "You don't have to look away, you know," he said softly.

"I-I-I need to go grab a quick shower, too," he said brusquely. He gently pulled his wrist out of Adam's grasp and retreated to the bathroom. He shut the door and sank down to the floor. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. All year long he let his need and desire build up to the breaking point and then Adam ends up with a broken heart. There was no way he was going to take advantage of Adam like that, he loved him too much. He'd just have to live with jerking off in the shower and cuddling in bed with him on this trip.

Resolutely, Tommy stood up and started stripping off his clothes, before climbing into the shower. Twenty minutes later, he joined Adam out on the balcony. They sat back by the sliding glass door watching the fireworks and when Adam saw Tommy getting nervous he reached out and grabbed his hand and held on tight. When the light show was over, they shut the door and stood there looking at each other.

"We should get to bed. We have an early admission tomorrow to California Adventure," Tommy said quietly.

Adam nodded in response and they undressed before slipping under the covers. Tommy reached over and shut off the light and they lay there in silence.

"I miss him," Adam whispered, breaking their long unspoken promise to not talk about their other relationships.

Tommy rolled over and scooted closer to Adam. "I'm sorry," he whispered back.

Adam stared at the ceiling. "I really thought I was in love with him, you know? We had fun, my family loved him, you guys loved him."

"So what happened?"

Adam shrugged. "It wasn't any one thing. I traveled a lot for that Philly job, you know. Hell, between that project and starting to date Drake in the first place, I feel like I hardly saw you guys at all this year."

"Yeah," Tommy agreed, snuggling closer.

"Drake kept asking me about guys I met while I was gone, who I spent time with at the hotel and stuff. At first it was kind of like a joke but it got less and less funny for both of us. He kept after me, kept accusing me of being in love with someone else."

Adam closed his eyes and shook his head. Tommy watched as he brought his hand up and pressed his fingers against his eyes, wondering for the hundredth time if their relationship was getting in the way of Adam's happiness.

"I don't know if he even knows what he really wants. I'm not sure what would have made him happy, but it wasn't me. I'm never good enough." His voice cracked at the end and Tommy saw tears slipping out from under his fingers.

"I'm sorry, Adam, I'm so sorry," he said roughly. He scooted closer to him, kissing his shoulder.

Adam turned over and grabbed him, burying his face in Tommy's neck and let go. Tommy held him while he cried, whispering to him, just nonsense really. Eventually, Adam fell asleep, exhausted and Tommy lay there in the dark, Adam's head on his chest, his fingers stroking through Adam's hair, and his own tears silently running down his face.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Kara looked down the hall to see Leila headed toward her. She gave her a tremulous smile and turned back to the window. Leila stopped beside her and Kara heard her breath catch as she saw Tommy lying next to Adam in the bed. "How long have they been like that?"

"For a while. The nurse was going to make Tommy leave but I convinced her to let him stay."

Leila put her arm around Kara's waist. "Just like when you all were kids." She turned to look at Kara. "You should be in there."

Kara bit her lip as a tear slipped out and slid silently down her cheek. "No, I shouldn't" she said softly.

Leila squeezed her waist and the two of them stared at the men for a moment.

"I think we were all wrong." Kara whispered.

"Wrong about what, honey?"

Kara didn't answer. She just shook her head and raised a hand and pressed it to the glass, unable to look away from the scene in front of her.

"Do you remember that, Adam?" she heard Tommy ask, his palm resting on Adam's chest, his head on the pillow beside Adam's. "You were hurting so bad and, fuck, it tore me up inside to see you like that. I wanted to take away all that pain you were feeling. I've been such a fool," he whispered.

Tommy went silent for a moment, his hand rising and falling with every breath Adam took. "Do you remember the rest of the trip?" he asked softly. He stroked a finger down Adam's cheek and began to talk again.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

  



	4. Chapter 4

  
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****

Part Four

 _Two Years Earlier_

For the first time in all their trips, Tommy woke up with Adam sprawled on top of him. He was still cradling Adam's head protectively. He stroked his fingers through the bed-mussed hair and Adam started to shift, waking up. He blinked and looked up at Tommy. A slow small smile spread across his face. "Hey."

"Hey yourself. Good thing you woke up." Tommy glanced over at the clock. "We have early admission to California Adventure today and I'm taking you on that roller coaster I told you about."

"And if I hadn't woken up?" Adam asked, propping his chin up on Tommy's chest.

"I'd've kicked your ass out of bed," Tommy deadpanned.

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Tiny little Tommy would have kicked my ass out of bed?"

"Yup, kicked you right onto the floor."

Adam pushed himself up until he was looming over Tommy, their faces only centimeters apart. "I'd like to see you try," he said huskily.

Tommy bit his lip, feeling heat rush up his body into his cheeks. He shoved ineffectually at Adam's chest. "Get off, man," he protested weakly.

Adam stared down at him, a myriad of emotions swimming in his eyes. Tommy stopped pushing and stared back.

"Thank you," Adam whispered, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. Tommy closed his eyes at the touch, his heart hammering in his chest.

Adam drew back and Tommy opened his eyes again, his mouth quirked up in a little half smile as he shrugged. Adam returned Tommy's smile, moving to get up off the bed. Tommy caught his wrist and he turned back.

"You're welcome," Tommy said huskily, rubbing his thumb over Adam's wrist.

Adam nodded and the moment passed. He stood up, pulling Tommy with him, pushing him toward the bathroom, slapping him on the ass. "Get a move on. Someone said we have early admission."

True to his word, as soon as they'd dressed and eaten, Tommy dragged Adam all the way to the other side of the park to get in line for the roller coaster, California Screamin'. Adam stared up at it, chewing his lip a bit and watching Tommy whose eyes were lit with excitement.

"I don't get it. You're afraid of heights."

"So?"

"So, a roller coaster is inherently tall."

"Yeah, but it's fast, and you're strapped down, and the wind's blowing, and the adrenalin, and there's music on this one."

Adam laughed. "Okay. So what about Ferris Wheels?"

"No."

"No, you're not afraid of them?"

"No, I won't go on them, especially the one here. Too high, stops too much, and those fucking moving baskets would make me hurl all over your expensive jeans."

Adam grimaced. "Well, we don't want that to happen, so no Ferris Wheel, although you know, making out at the top is usually pretty fun."

Tommy sent him a withering glare and Adam raised his hands in surrender.

Tommy rolled his eyes and Adam laughed and they were still laughing when they were strapped into the front seat of the coaster. Tommy whooped along with everyone else as the coaster left the start, rolled around the corner, and came to a stop.

"Wait, why are we stopping?" Adam asked.

Tommy just grinned. "Hold on, baby."

Adam looked around, confused and then as if some countdown had hit zero, the roller coaster took off like a shot and he was pushed back into his seat. He screamed from the shock of it and all he could hear over his own screaming and the loud music was Tommy's laughter. When they got off a few minutes later, he turned to Tommy and tried to glare at him, fighting the urge to laugh. "So did you enjoy hearing me scream my head off?"

"Tell me you didn't enjoy it."

Adam grudgingly admitted that he did and Tommy beamed. He grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward the line. "Come on, it's even better when you **know** it's coming."

Adam laughed and let Tommy pull him right back into the line. They rode the coaster several times in a row before finally moving off to other rides. They rode the Orange Stinger swing ride, got soaked on Grizzly River Run, and even managed to enjoy some of the campier, kiddie rides at the other end of the park. They ate lunch at the Taste Pilot's Grill and then headed over to Soarin' Over California, which Adam loved and insisted they go on more than once. They rode it three times before Adam would finally let them move on to a different ride.

Tommy had made reservations for that night's dinner at the Wine Country Trattoria when he'd called the previous night for the Blue Bayou. They had a semi-secluded table outside, lit by candles. Tommy asked Adam to pick out the wine, since he knew way more about it then he did. They ordered an appetizer to share and then just sat back to enjoy the wine and the night air.

Adam took a sip of his wine and then set it down on the table, tracing his finger around the stem of the glass. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

Tommy looked over at him. "Sorry for what?"

"For bringing my baggage on our trip," he replied as a flush swept up his cheeks.

Tommy smiled and took a sip of his wine before setting the glass back down. "Adam, I expected you to bring baggage on this trip. You just broke up with your boyfriend, who you were with for almost a year. If you didn't have baggage over that, I'd be checking you into a hospital myself. So forget it, if you want to talk, spill. You know I'm an easy listener. If you want to just – hang out we can do that, too."

Adam leaned forward, grabbing Tommy's hand in his own, stroking his thumb over the back of it. He stared hard at the tablecloth and when he finally spoke it was barely above a whisper. "What if I wanna do more than just talk?" His voice was rough and low.

Tommy squeezed his hand, feeling heat rise up from his chest to the roots of his hair. He chewed his lip nervously. Adam was offering himself up on a platter and he was trying to do the right thing, to get the guts to say no. "Yes, please." His lips opened and the traitorous words slipped out.

Adam 's mouth twitched and then he threw his head back and laughed. Tommy frowned at him, finally getting his attention after several embarrassing minutes of Adam laughing at his expense. "What is so fucking funny?"

Adam wiped his eyes and took a drink of water to ease the tickle in his throat. "You, me, this whole damn vacation thing where we don’t talk about the other people in our lives. It's ridiculous. I have baggage. You have baggage and if either of us were to deny it, well, that'd be like the pot calling the kettle black."

Tommy tilted his head to look at him. "You're right, but my baggage is a whole different set of luggage than yours." He looked up at Adam through his eyelashes.

"I know," Adam said quietly.

Both of them fell silent for a moment, thinking about the woman between them, the one they both loved, the one they would both die to protect.  
Adam was the one who spoke first. "Do you, I mean, have you, do you guys talk about our trips?"

Tommy shrugged. "Not really. I mean she asks if I had a good time and all but then we don't really talk about her art trips either."

They went quiet again, both lost in their thoughts. They looked up when the waiter delivered their salads and then ate silently for a few minutes.

"Did you mean it?" Adam asked nervously.

"Mean what?"

"'Yes, please,'" Adam repeated Tommy's words back to him.

Tommy felt the heat rise up in his face as he nodded slowly. Adam never spoke in return, just gave Tommy a pleased smile and went back to his salad. Tommy's lips curved up into a grin as he felt the tension in the air slide away.

"So what do you have planned for us for tomorrow?" Adam grinned at him.

"Back to the Magic Kingdom."

Adam cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What? We only had a few hours there and you're always raving about that damn Peter Pan ride, I figure we ought to spend at least part of the day there, you know?"

"Okay, baby, whatever you want." Adam smiled at him.

They spent the rest of dinner talking about what rides they wanted to go on, which ones were worthy of going on more than once and which ones were deemed skippable. Tommy noticed that Adam drank more than he usually did but he didn't say anything. He figured Adam probably needed it. When they got back to the room, it was obvious Adam was ready to crash. By the time Tommy finished in the bathroom, Adam was sprawled across the bed, face down, naked and snoring.

Tommy smiled. He eased Adam under the covers, stripped down himself and slid in beside him, cuddled up to his side. Adam wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "Love you, Tommy," he whispered sleepily.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"You probably don't even remember saying that, do you?" Tommy asked Adam's sleeping form. "I do. I remember lying there in the dark, stunned by your words, but I shouldn't have been. You've been saying them for years, that was just the first time I'd actually listened."

He kissed Adam's shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, didn't let myself believe you. Do you remember the next day? We spent it at the Magic Kingdom. We rode so many of those damn rides. Space Mountain, Big Thunder Railroad, that Peter Pan ride, Pirates of the Caribbean, and I even let you drag me on It's a Small World five times. Do you remember where we had dinner that night? The Blue Bayou Restaurant, the one inside the Pirate ride? It was so romantic… well, about as romantic as you can get in a roomful of people practically sitting on top of you, but you enjoyed it. You kept looking at me like I'd hung the moon or something… "

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Two Years Earlier_

Their dinner at the Blue Bayou had been wonderful. They'd split a wedge salad and a bowl of gumbo and then shared Jambalaya and Crab Cakes. Tommy had insisted on dessert and they'd split a chocolate chip cookie sundae. They stayed to watch the fireworks and then walked leisurely back to the hotel hand in hand.

Adam used the bathroom first, taking a shower and brushing his teeth. Tommy went in when he was finished. When Tommy came back out, Adam was sitting on the bed, staring out the window, his cheeks wet with tears.

"Adam?" he asked softly, climbing up onto the bed beside him.

"Got a text from Drake. He's all moved out, wanted me to know."

"Oh, Adam, I'm sorry." Tommy reached out a tentative hand, but pulled back when Adam moved to swipe a tear away. "Can I do anything?"

Adam shook his head silently, so Tommy did what he did best. He snuggled up to Adam's side, wrapped an arm around his waist, rested his head on his shoulder, and cuddled. After a few minutes, Adam lifted his arm up, put it around Tommy and pulled him closer. They sat there in silence, Tommy's hand stroking Adam's belly.

Adam's tears slowed and finally stopped and still they sat there, wrapped around each other. He started to stroke Tommy's back and arm, his hand drifting lazily over both, the light touch making Tommy shiver and shift closer. He tucked his feet under Adam's leg and Adam laughed. "Cold?"

"Not really, just my toes."

Adam smiled, dropping a kiss on his head and Tommy returned it on his chest. He stopped stroking Adam's belly letting his hand rest just below Adam's belly button. He watched in fascination as Adam's dick hardened under the thin cotton of his sleep pants. Adam looked down and Tommy felt him tense underneath him. He pushed up and looked Adam in the eyes. "Let me take care of that, please?"

Adam stared at him for a moment, his blue eyes piercing right through to Tommy's soul. He nodded silently and Tommy smiled. Tommy leaned forward, cupping Adam's cheek with his hand and kissed him gently on the lips, just barely licking them with his tongue before pulling away and nudging Adam to lie back onto the bed. He kissed his way down Adam's chest, pausing briefly to tongue to his nipples until they were pebbled and hard. He continued his way down until he reached the edge of Adam's sleep pants.

He paused and looked up at Adam through the fringe of his hair to see him staring back at him intently, his eyes still sad, but the edges smoky with arousal and want. He stared back, drawing the waistband of Adam's pants down over his rigid cock and only when he knew it was completely free did he look away from Adam's eyes. He stared at the hard length in front of him. He wasn't an expert on blowjobs, not by any stretch of the imagination. He'd done a few in high school and college, but most of his experience had been with Adam, so while he wasn't an expert on blowjobs in general, he was an expert at what Adam liked in a blowjob and he was determined to make him feel better.

He wrapped his fist around Adam's cock and brought it up to his lips. Looking back up at Adam, he darted his tongue out and licked at the slit. He poked his tongue at it, tasting the bitter liquid as he did. Tommy swirled his tongue around the top until Adam closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall behind him. Tommy dropped his eyes back to Adam's cock and focused on taking his mind off things for a while.

He slowly started jacking Adam's cock off with his hand while he sucked on the head. His other hand rested lightly on Adam's hip, just lightly caressing the skin. He licked around the head of Adam's dick, trailing his tongue along the ridge until he felt Adam's hand tangle in his hair.

He took a deep breath, relaxed his throat, and dropped his mouth down to meet his hand, taking as much of Adam's cock in as he possibly could until it was pressing against the back of his throat. He started bobbing his head up and down in the rhythm he knew Adam liked, licking and sucking and hollowing his cheeks as he increased the suction. He knew he was hitting his stride when Adam's hand tightened in his hair and he started thrusting into his mouth.

Tommy released Adam's hip, moving his hand down to cup his balls. Gently, he stroked them, rubbing his thumb across that little bit of skin behind them, pressing against it.

"Fuck," Adam moaned.

Tommy knew Adam wasn't going to last much longer when his thrusts became more frantic and the tugging at his hair made his scalp tingle with just a tinge of pain. He started humming as he sucked, poking his tongue back into the slit at the top on every other stroke.

"Fuck, Tommy, I'm going to –"

Tommy just sucked harder. He dropped his head, letting the head of Adam's cock rest at the back of his mouth and he swallowed. And then Adam was coming. Tommy coughed a bit, trying to swallow the instant burst of liquid down his throat, but he kept licking Adam, sucking him through the orgasm, until Adam's hands released his hair and rested on his shoulders.

He licked and sucked the whole thing clean before pulling off with a slight pop. He looked up at Adam, who no longer looked sad, but had a dreamy satisfied look on his face. Tommy licked his way back up Adam's chest until Adam grabbed his shoulders and pulled him the rest of the way, devouring his mouth with his own.

Adam took the lead, licking his way into Tommy's mouth and taking control of the kiss. His hand tangled in Tommy's hair, holding him close. He pulled back, pressing their foreheads together, their breath mingling against their lips. "I want to make love to you," Adam whispered.

Tommy's eyes met his and he nodded slowly, pushing back in to kiss Adam hungrily. They kissed until they were breathless, Adam's arms wrapped around Tommy, holding him close. Adam brushed the fringe off his forehead and then rolled them so Tommy was lying underneath him. He kissed Tommy's forehead and then rained kisses down all over his face until he was licking the shell of his ear and Tommy was shivering. He chuckled softly and sucked the pierced earlobe into his mouth, biting it gently.

He didn't waste time there though as he licked his way down Tommy's chest, sucking first one nipple into his mouth and then the other. He nuzzled at Tommy's belly button making him giggle and shove at Adam's head. He licked up the underside of Tommy's shaft, popping the head into his mouth to suck briefly, before pushing Tommy's legs up and out, exposing his hole.

He darted his tongue out just to taste, lightly touching the ring of muscle. Tommy jerked in response, his legs falling open wantonly. Adam smiled and started rimming him in earnest, licking and sucking and pushing his tongue inside until Tommy's hands were in his hair and he was thrusting hard on Adam's tongue.

"Fuck, Adam!"

"I know, baby, don't worry, I'm going to get you there."

Adam pulled back and left the bed to go hunt through his bag until he found the condoms and the lube. He turned back to the bed and Tommy was watching him, his fringe hanging over his face, his lips swollen from his kisses and his hand working his cock slowly. Adam's breath caught in his throat. "Fuck, Tommy, you look so debauched and gorgeous."

He watched as a blush rose up on Tommy's skin, turning his already flushed skin a darker shade of pink. Tommy saw his hands clench in anticipation as if Adam itched to get his hands back on him. Adam climbed back on the bed, lubed up his fingers and started pressing one against Tommy's entrance. He sucked the head of Tommy's cock into his mouth, just as his finger pushed through the resistance and into Tommy. He worked his finger around, loosening the muscle up further, pushing a second one and finally a third one in. He tongued at Tommy's slit just as he pressed against his prostate and Tommy arched off the bed with a cry.

"Fuck, now, Adam!"

Adam pulled his hand out, wiped it on the sheets, ripped open the condom, sliding it on and lubing it up. He wrapped Tommy's legs around his waist and pushed at his entrance. Their eyes met and held as Adam pushed slowly inside. Tommy's hands wrapped around his wrists and he thrust down, pulling Adam in to the hilt. "Fuck," Adam groaned, his eyes closing as he bit his lip to keep from coming right then.

Tommy stilled and the moment hung there as if they were frozen in time. Adam finally opened his eyes and started to thrust, slow and deep. He bent down to kiss Tommy, sliding his hands up Tommy's back and curling them over his shoulders, pressing them together. Tommy sucked on his tongue greedily and Adam thrust harder. He sat back, pulling Tommy with him, completely changing the angle. Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam's neck as Adam fucked up into him, hitting his prostate with every stroke.

Tommy felt a familiar feeling curling in his spine and starting to spread outward. Adam reached between them and started stroking him and then he was coming all over Adam's hand and their bellies. Adam stroked him through his orgasm and then grabbed his hips, slamming up into him hard and fast, chasing his own orgasm until it exploded through him.

They sat there like that, panting against each other, licking sweaty skin and breathing each other's air until the afterglow started to wear off. Tommy pulled himself off of Adam and collapsed back onto the bed. Adam grinned down at him before tossing the condom and wiping them both off with his sleep pants before tossing them on the floor. He settled back down onto the bed and Tommy cuddled back into his side in almost the same position they'd started in.

"Feel better?" Tommy asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"Good."

Adam kissed his forehead. "Thanks."

Tommy kissed his chest, right above his nipple. "Welcome."

Adam pulled him in tighter as they drifted off to sleep.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

Tommy snuggled close to Adam, unconsciously echoing their positions that night in the hotel. He sighed, wishing he could think of something to make Adam better like he'd been able to that night. He sat up a bit and propped himself up on his elbow so he could look Adam in the face. He reached out and stroked a trembling finger down his cheek. "Please come back to me, baby. Please come back. Look at me like that again so you can see I'm looking at you the same way. Please?"

~*~*~

Kara turned away from the window, taking a deep breath, fighting against the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. Leila reached out and rubbed her back.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to stay. I can imagine how hard this must be for you."

Kara swiped angrily at the tears on her cheeks. "No, no I'm staying. I need to stay. This is partly my fault."

"Oh honey, this isn't your fault. You can't help –"

"No, it is. I could see how much they loved each other, I knew, and yet I never pushed Tommy to talk about it, to think about it. Nothing. I could have stopped our wedding, our marriage, something and I didn't. I got carried along in the wave and played along with the fantasy of me and Tommy happily ever after. I was a fool. And now those two men, the men I love the most in the entire world, are hurting and I'm partly to blame. I just hope when this is all over and Adam's better, that they can forgive my part in all this."

She turned back to the window, placing a hand on the glass, tears silently streaming down her face again.

~*~*~

Adam felt a soft finger stroke his cheek and he wanted to lean into it. He knew the touch, it was Tommy. He could hear Tommy's voice, hear him pleading with him about something. He frowned. Why would Tommy be begging him? Had something happened? Had Kara found out about them?  
They'd been so careful. Sure, there may have been a few overly friendly touches between them now and then but those could easily be shrugged off.

Adam was a very touchy person, even with Kara. She never looked twice when he did the same thing to Tommy. But it was so different with Tommy. He craved Tommy. He suspected that Tommy craved him. They would go eleven months between vacations and it seemed like no matter who he was with, or how serious it was, the desire for Tommy was always there just waiting for that one week they had together to be released. He wondered if it was the same for Tommy. He wondered if the craving built up as the year passed until it was almost unbearable. If it felt the same to Tommy that if he didn't have that week where he could freely touch and love him, the craving would burst out of his skin and burn him up alive.

His frown deepened as Tommy's pleas grew more and more desperate. The hurt and fear in Tommy's voice made his heart ache and he wanted so badly to make it better, but he just couldn't seem to find his way out of the darkness. But the darkness was different this time, he could smell gumbo, spices, and chickory coffee. He smiled, New Orleans, the last trip he'd taken with Tommy. It had been a good one. He let the darkness swallow him this time, carry him back to that trip, the one that changed everything.

"Gumbo," he mumbled.

Tommy looked up at Adam's face and squeezed his hand. "New Orleans. Yeah, that was a good trip, wasn't it? My favorite I think," he sighed wistfully, his own thoughts drifting back to it. "You planned it out perfectly, starting from the moment we stepped off the plane…"

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _One Year Earlier_

Tommy stepped out of the cab and looked around in wonder. He could smell the gumbo in the air. He turned and smiled at Adam, so bright Adam had to laugh.

"I know, right? Come on, let's get checked in and I'll show you some sights."

Tommy followed him into the house. Adam had booked them into a bed and breakfast just off the French Quarter. When Tommy had asked why he didn't choose a hotel in the French Quarter right on Bourbon Street, Adam had told him the B&B was better, they'd have more privacy and it would be a hell of a lot quieter. Plus, a fantastic breakfast. Tommy had smiled at that and let Adam plan it the way he wanted to.

The woman that owned the B&B was very friendly. She talked to both of them but mostly to Adam since he'd been there before and was familiar with the sights and restaurants she was recommending. Tommy took the time to look around. The house was large, the decorations simple but tasteful.

She led them outside and up to their room, and despite the flowered décor, Tommy had to admit it was very nice. There was a kitchenette, a full bathroom, a living area, and a bedroom with a Queen-sized bed.

It wasn't long before she gave them the key and wished them an enjoyable stay. Adam turned to look at him expectantly and Tommy grinned. "It's perfect. You were right."

Adam smiled. "So, want to go check out the French Quarter?"

"Yeah."

They quickly settled their stuff into the room and then took off toward the French Quarter. They strolled hand in hand down Bourbon Street and Adam pointed out the good bars and the bad bars. He pointed out places he'd been and places he'd die before stepping inside. His enthusiasm was infectious and Tommy found himself anxiously looking forward to the next day and whatever Adam had planned.

They went to dinner at Irene's, at the B&B owner's recommendation and were not disappointed. When they finished, Tommy was so full he wasn't sure he was going to make it back to the room. Adam just laughed at him, grabbed his hand and pulled him outside. They walked down Bourbon Street again but Tommy could feel sleep pulling at him. Adam kissed his hand and led them back to the B&B.

Tommy showered quickly and collapsed on the bed while Adam took his turn. He felt the bed dip down as Adam sat beside him after his own shower. He felt Adam's hand stroking through his hair and he pushed up against it.

Adam chuckled. "Tommy Joe, you are just like a cat, you know that?"

"Am not." But he pushed his head harder against Adam's hand, wanting more. "Don't stop."

"Wasn't planning on it," Adam replied softly. He slid down in the bed until he was lying next to Tommy, still stroking his hair. Adam curled up behind Tommy who could feel his warmth against his back. He pushed back against the heat until he felt Adam's arm slide around his waist. Only then did he still, dropping his own hand to entwine their fingers together. As he drifted off to sleep he felt Adam kiss the top of his head and whisper something into his hair. Even without hearing it, he knew what it was.

~*~*~

When Tommy woke the next morning he was in Adam's arms, pulled up tightly to his side, his head on Adam's shoulder, his hand on Adam's belly.

"Hey," Adam said softly.

Tommy kissed Adam's shoulder. "Hey."

Adam shifted a bit, turned on his side so he was facing Tommy. Tommy felt his heart start to pound a bit faster and then Adam leaned in and kissed him softly, licking his mouth open. Tommy pushed into the kiss, his tongue sliding against Adam's. He slid his hands up Adam's back until they were tangling with his hair, playing with the ends of the hair at the nape of his neck. He tightened his grip when he felt Adam slowing the kiss down and moaned needily into his mouth. But Adam pulled back anyway, kissing him gently one final time. "We should get up, get some breakfast. I've got a big day planned for us."

"One that doesn't involve staying in bed all day?" Tommy pouted.

Adam laughed. "One that doesn't involve staying in bed all day," he confirmed. "Come on, I think you'll enjoy it."

He leaned back down, kissing Tommy chastely before sliding out of the bed.

"Arrgghhh," Tommy groaned, grabbing a pillow and pressing it over his face. "Fucking tease," he growled.

Adam reached down and tapped him on the thigh. "A tease is someone who doesn't follow through. I fully intend to follow through, just not right now. Come on, get up."

"Fine," Tommy growled again but did what Adam said.

Adam did indeed have a full day planned for them. He took Tommy to the Aquarium and then afterwards they spent some time just walking along the river, out to a restaurant called Mother's for lunch, and then to the Zoo. They stopped back at the hotel to freshen up and then Adam dragged him back out to dinner and off to a dance club afterward. By the time they got back to the room, Tommy was exhausted again.

As he crawled under the sheets, face planting into the pillow he grumbled. "Knew you were a fucking tease."

Adam just smiled, spooned up behind him and pulled him in close. "Tomorrow we're sleeping in," he growled.

"Thank fuck!" Tommy said sleepily.

Adam laughed, kissed the back of his neck and sleep pulled him under as well.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"You ran my ass ragged those first few days. The Aquarium, the zoo, the cemeteries, the various mansions, that voodoo tour, but then we had that one perfect day. We slept in late." Tommy paused, a smile crossing his face. "Well, not really slept, but, we stayed in bed until almost noon, then had beignets at Café Du Monde. We spent the day just walking all over the French Quarter, looking in shops, watching people, just relaxing. You took me to dinner that night, some fancy place I can't remember the name of, but I do remember the food was amazing. And then that night, do you remember that night, Adam? That was the most amazing night of my life. God, I love you so much."

~*~*~

Adam smiled, he remembered that night, because it had been the most amazing night of his life too. He wanted to tell Tommy that but it felt like his mouth was stuffed with cotton. "Tommy," he rasped out.

Tommy's head flew up and he looked at Adam. "Adam?"

Adam's head turned toward him but his eyes were still closed.

"Adam, can you hear me?"

"Tommy," he paused, wondering if Tommy was really there and where he was. Could Tommy hear him? "That night," he whispered. "I didn't –" He'd never said it back to Tommy. "I love you, too," he whispered back as images and memories flooded his mind, starting with the night everything had started to change. It played like a movie in his head, picking Tommy up for his bachelor party, Tommy walking across the stage at Raja's club, the insanity that made him bid and the night that followed.

Adam smiled at the memory, it was a good one. "Tommy," he  
muttered. "Married…tomorrow."

Tommy reached over and stroked his hair. "Adam, that was five years ago. I got married five years ago but I remember that night like it was last night. I think you got it wrong that night. That night meant more than either of us could have ever dreamed it would. We started something that night, you and I, something I couldn't identify until now. I need you to come back to me, please, Adam? For me?"

Adam frowned. Tommy was worried and he didn't really understand why. He smiled as another memory faded into place. This time they were in Cancun, but Adam couldn't remember the pristine beaches, the blue water, or the feeling of Tommy in his arms as they made love. All he could remember was the worry about what they were doing, about what might happen if anyone found out.

Tommy watched as Adam frowned, reached out to stroke the tightened muscles on his forehead. "I don't know what you're thinking about, but stop. You always say I'm the one who thinks too much. Now I think you're thinking too much. Talk to me, Adam, come out of this and talk to me. I – I need to tell you something and I want you awake to hear it. You hear me? I need you awake. Please."

Adam could hear the desperation in Tommy's voice so he let the memory go. Mornings after were always awkward, but only the first ones. He could feel another memory tugging at him and tried to reassure Tommy before he let it overtake him. He tried to speak again, but all that came out was, "Tommy, don't want to camp."

Tommy looked at him and laughed. "You're getting closer, that was three years ago. Just a little bit more, you can do it. Come back to me."

Adam tried, tried so hard, but the pull of the memory was just too much. He still couldn't believe he let Tommy talk him into camping, but it had been a beautiful trip. It seemed like every vacation they spent together, they got closer somehow. Every night he fell asleep with Tommy in his arms, he fell a little more in love and every morning he woke up with new feelings of guilt because of Kara.

Adam frowned again. They never talked about it. "Kara," he rasped out.

Tommy pulled his head off Adam's chest and looked at him. "Kara's here, she's waiting right outside with your mom. Do you want me to get her?"

"Never talk. Guilty."

Tommy's breath hitched and he squeezed Adam's hand. "I know," he whispered. "I know." He ran a hand through his hair deliberately not looking up at the window or the two women watching them. "You shouldn't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty. I'm the one with no self-control. Me. Please Adam, don't get trapped in your head by your guilt, you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's me, I'm the one that should feel guilty."

Adam frowned more. Tommy was always trying to take the blame. "No. Not guilty. My fault."

Tommy's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

Adam's face creased in a frown. "Sorry."

Tommy's eyes widened. "Adam? Can you hear me?" He looked up at the window. Kara and Leila were there, their faces practically pressed to the glass. He saw something dark and stormy in Kara's eyes and something else entirely in Leila's and he shifted uncomfortably on the bed but stubbornly returned his attention back to Adam. He looked back down at the bed. Adam's hands were fisted in the sheets. They hadn't been a moment ago.

He placed a hand over the one nearest him, stroking his thumb over it. "Adam? Relax. You're in the hospital. Everything is going to be okay. Just relax."

"Tommy?"

"Adam?"

Adam continued as if he hadn't even heard Tommy. "Should've told you b'fore."

Tommy reached out and stroked the hair off Adam's forehead. "What? What should you have told me?"

"Sorry…waited…asleep. I love you, Tommy…Ratliff."

Tommy's hand stilled in Adam's hair. "What?" he whispered.

"Love you."

Tommy didn't even have to look up at the window to see the shocked looks, he didn't have to, they were burning into his skin. "Adam, what are you saying?"

"Wasted time. Love you. Stupid…not telling you. Hurt Kara. Sorry."

"Adam? Where are you?"

"New Orleans."

And instantly Tommy's mind went whirling back to join him again.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _One Year Earlier_

They'd had the perfect day. Tommy had woken up to Adam giving him a blow job, probably the best blow job he'd ever had and when he went to reciprocate, Adam had refused. Tommy had pressed until Adam admitted he'd already gotten off while he was blowing him. Tommy had giggled and buried his head in Adam's shoulder. They'd rolled around in bed after that, just enjoying not having to get up and having a big bed all to themselves.

Adam had taken him to Café du Monde for beignets and chicory coffee and they had wandered the French Quarter for hours. They'd gone someplace fancy for dinner and then walked back to their room. The air had been charged around them all day and when the door closed behind them, it was practically sparking.

Tommy stood there staring at Adam, the air heavy between them. And then Adam took one step forward and they were kissing. Adam pushed him back against the door, a thigh slipped between his legs pressing against his rapidly growing erection. Tommy reached up and wove his fingers through Adam's hair, grateful that he had foregone the use of product for one day. He thrust his tongue into Adam's mouth, pushing forward against Adam's hold on him.

Adam broke the kiss and a muted sound slipped from his lips as he mouthed along Tommy's jaw. He kissed his way up to Tommy's ear, sucking the pierced lobe into his mouth and tonguing the metal. Tommy turned his head, his hand still combing through Adam's hair. A sigh slipped out as Adam kissed down his neck, nipping at his pulse point. He grabbed the back of Adam's neck, trying to pull him closer, tilting his head to give him more access.

Adam chuckled softly against his neck, gently bit down and then soothed the spot with his tongue. He kissed his way back to Tommy's mouth and sucked on his bottom lip. Tommy licked at Adam's mouth, snaking his tongue inside and dominating the kiss again. Adam's hands wrapped around his waist and pressed them close. He could feel Adam's hard length against his hip and suddenly he wanted. He grabbed Adam's shoulders and using what little bit of leverage he had, spun them around so Adam was trapped between him and the door.

Adam's eyes went wide with surprise but then Tommy dropped to his knees, his hands on Adam's waistband. He looked up at Adam, his eyelashes fanning across his cheeks as he blinked.

"Fuck, Tommy," Adam whispered, his head thunking back against the door.

Tommy took that as permission and unzipped Adam's pants, reaching in to pull his cock out. He wrapped his long fingers around it, poked his tongue out and licked the head delicately, probing lightly at the slit.

Adam let out a groan and Tommy smiled, licking around the plum-shaped head and down the shaft. He slid his hand to the base and then sucked Adam's cock into his mouth.

Adam groaned and wound his hands into Tommy's hair, gently guiding his head as he sucked. Tommy leaned into the pressure of Adam's hands and hollowed his cheeks, sucking harder. He used his free hand to reach up and cup Adam's heavy sac, rolling each ball in his hand in turn. He pulled back, probing the slit again, tasting the salty liquid that was starting to leak out, only to drop his mouth down to meet his fist again.

He felt Adam start to thrust his hips as he drifted a finger back from Adam's balls to tease at his hole. When Adam grunted at the contact, Tommy pulled back and sucked the finger into his mouth alongside Adam's dick, getting it good and wet. He drew it out with a pop and went back to teasing Adam's hole. Adam's thrusts became more forceful and Tommy leaned back into Adam's hands, relaxing his throat and letting Adam fuck his mouth.

"Tommy," Adam grunted, his fists tightening in Tommy's hair.

Tommy pressed his finger against Adam's entrance, felt his balls tightening up and knew Adam was close. He let go of Adam's sac and pressed his thumb right over Adam's perineum. And then Adam was coming, hot streams of liquid shooting down Tommy's throat. He swallowed convulsively, trying not to choke, hot tears springing to his eyes at the sensation.

Adam's hands loosened and he started stroking Tommy's hair as Tommy sucked him through the aftershocks, finally letting Adam's dick slip from his mouth and wiping his face with the back of his hand. Adam looked down at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Tommy's lips were red and swollen and his chin was still glistening. He cupped Tommy's face, stroking his thumb over Tommy's lips.

Tommy pressed his cheek into Adam's palm before turning his face to kiss it. Adam dropped his hand to Tommy's shoulder, fisted his shirt and tugged. Tommy laughed. "I get it."

He stood up and Adam pulled him close, running his hands up and down Tommy's back. On one pass he wrapped his hand around Tommy's neck and pulled him back, meeting his eyes. "Make love to me?"

Tommy stared at him in surprise. "Are – are you sure?"

Adam nodded. "I can count the number of people I've bottomed for on one hand and I've never asked for it, it just happened. I'm asking you. Please. Make love to me, Tommy Joe?"

Tommy didn't answer, he just leaned forward and captured Adam's lips with his own. Adam's tongue darted into his mouth and Tommy knew he could taste himself. Adam licked all around, clearly chasing his own taste until there was nothing left but Tommy. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. They stood silently in each other's arms, their breath mingling together, until Tommy laced their fingers together and with a small smile, led Adam over to the bed.

They undressed each other and lay down on the bed, side by side facing each other. Adam ran his fingers over Tommy's cheekbones, traced his lips with his fingertip. "God, you are so beautiful."

Tommy felt the heat rise up in his face and ducked his head, a shy smile gracing his lips.

"Uh-uh," Adam chided him, tilting his face back up to look into his  
eyes. "You are beautiful."

This time Tommy didn't look away but he kissed Adam instead. He licked at Adam's lips pushing his tongue inside, swallowing whatever else Adam was going to say. Tommy dominated the kiss, twining his hands in Adam's thick black hair and pulling until there was no space between them. Adam's hands wrapped around his waist and suddenly they were touching from head to toe. Tommy could feel Adam's soft skin from his shoulders all the way to his toes.

He broke the kiss and pushed at Adam's shoulder until he rolled onto his back. Tommy swung his leg over Adam's waist, straddling him. He met Adam's eyes and a triumphant grin broke out over his face, a little mischievous glint to his eyes. Adam laughed nervously as Tommy bent down to suck up a mark on Adam's collarbone. He tongued it when he was done and then proceeded to suck up a matching one on the other side. When he was finished, he leaned back and looked at them proudly before bending back down to lick a stripe down the center of Adam's chest.

Adam's freckles fascinated him. They were everywhere. His hands traced lazy lines over Adam's chest, trying to map all of them, knowing it was a futile pursuit. He bent down to kiss them. He tongued his way over to Adam's right nipple, licking circles around it, breathing over it, until Adam's hands were in his hair trying to guide his head. He chuckled softly, nudging the nipple with his nose, before darting his tongue out to just barely give it a taste.

"Fuck," Adam breathed out.

"Soon," Tommy replied.

He made his way over to the other side and teased that nipple to a turgid peak as well.

"Tommy," Adam whined.

Tommy let a satisfied grin cross his face as he leaned up and kissed Adam quiet. His fingertips danced delicately around the tips of Adam's nipples, teasing them but not touching them. Adam moaned into his mouth and Tommy broke the kiss. He moved down and sucked one nipple into his mouth, pinching the other with his fingers. He licked and sucked on it until it was hard and then he bit down gently, pulling away to repeat the action on the other side.

He peered up at Adam who had his bottom lip between his teeth and was biting down hard to keep from crying out. Tommy smiled as he let the nipple go and kissed his way down Adam's belly. He nuzzled his belly button and nudged Adam's half-hard cock with his chin. He licked around the bottom of the shaft before sucking one ball and then the other into his mouth.

Adam spread his legs, letting Tommy have as much room as he wanted. Tommy pushed his legs up, licking behind Adam's balls. He stroked a finger lightly over Adam's entrance and then darted his tongue out for a quick taste.

Adam arched off the bed with a cry. "Fuck, Tommy Joe!"

Tommy smirked and gave his hole another quick little lick. "Lube?"

Adam bent up to look at him through passion-glazed eyes. "Bathroom."

Tommy kissed Adam's thigh before gliding off the bed and heading toward the bathroom. He was back moments later with lube, a condom, and a towel. He kissed his way up Adam's leg, starting with his toes and working all the way back up to his cock, which was rapidly taking an interest again. Tommy tongued it for a bit before pulling back and lubing up his fingers.

He looked up at Adam nervously; he'd never done this to someone else before. Adam dropped a hand down and cupped his cheek. "One at a time, slowly."

Tommy felt his face heat up but turned and kissed Adam's palm before settling back down between his legs. Tommy rubbed a finger over his entrance, lubing up the outside. He pressed against it slightly, feeling the muscle give against his finger. He watched enraptured as his finger sank into Adam up to the first knuckle and then seconds later up to the second. He pulled it back a little and then pushed it back in, crooking his finger.

"Oh, FUCK!" Adam yelled, arching off the bed.

"What?" Tommy pulled his finger out.

"Don't stop. Do – do that again. Two this time."

And after that it got easier. Two fingers, then three fingers, and each time he rubbed over that spot, Adam's reaction was explosive. Watching Adam's responsiveness made Tommy need. His dick was so hard and it was sticky and wet with precome. Adam was thrusting back onto his fingers and all Tommy could think about was how that was going to feel on his dick. "Fuck, Adam, can I?"

"Yeah, now, Tommy, now."

Tommy pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the towel, ripped open the condom packet, rolled it on over his dick and slicked himself up. Adam pulled his legs up, planting his feet on the bed, sliding a pillow under his hips.

Tommy stared at him. "Fuck, Adam, you're gorgeous." He licked his lips nervously and then positioned himself at Adam's entrance. He looked up and their eyes met as he slowly pushed inside. He had to bite his lip at the feeling of tight heat surrounding his cock.

"Fuck, I don't know how long I'm going to last."

"Just relax," Adam whispered encouragingly, rubbing his hands up and down Tommy's arms. Tommy closed his eyes for a moment, all the sensations and emotions a bit too intense. Adam whispered soothing words and when Tommy was ready, he nodded and started to move. He thrust in and out just barely keeping himself under control.

Adam propped himself up on his elbows and shifted them until he was straddling Tommy. He wrapped his legs around Tommy's waist and his arms around his shoulders. He started meeting Tommy thrust for thrust, grinding down each time Tommy pushed up. Tommy's rhythm faltered and he clutched at Adam.

"N-not gonna last," Tommy panted out breathlessly.

Suddenly, Adam was kissing him, their tongues thrusting against each other and it was all too much and he was coming, his cries swallowed up in Adam's mouth, his cock spurting into its latex confines inside Adam's body. He barely noticed Adam's hand tugging at his own cock between them until his ass clenched around Tommy's already sensitive cock as he came. Tommy let his head fall onto Adam's shoulder, his hands digging into Adam's shoulder blades.

They stayed like that until Tommy's cock started to slip out of Adam. Only then did Tommy move, pulling the rest of the way out, tying off the condom and tossing it in the trashcan by the bed. He grabbed the towel and wiped off their stomachs and his dick before tossing it on the floor and collapsing on the bed next to Adam.

Adam wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer until Tommy's head was resting on his chest. He listened as Adam's heartbeat slowed down to a more regular rhythm. Adam's fingers combed through his hair and he pushed up into the touch. Adam laughed. "Are you sure you aren't really a cat?"

Tommy snorted. "Fucker," he glared up at Adam for a brief moment before rolling his eyes and settling back down onto his chest.

Adam kissed the top of his head. "Thank you."

Tommy stilled the hand that had been tracing circles on Adam's torso. "Was – was it okay?"

Adam's arms tightened around him. "It was spectacular."

Tommy felt his cheeks heat up in a flush of pride so he kissed Adam's chest. "I'm glad." He went quiet then, listening to Adam's heartbeat and felt sleep tugging at him. "M'sleepy," he mumbled.

He felt Adam's hand stroke up and down his arm. "Night, Tommy."

"Night, Adam."

~*~*~

Adam waited a few moments until Tommy's breath evened out.

"Tommy?" Adam whispered. "Can you hear me?"

When Tommy didn't answer Adam took a deep breath and started to talk.  
"Now, now I can finally tell you. I should have told you this a long time ago. I have a confession to make. I lied to you. When I said this thing between us it just is what it is? Yeah, I think that was a lie. No, I know it was a lie. Because." He paused and kissed Tommy's head again. "I love you, Tommy Joe Ratliff. I've loved you since you first walked into that kindergarten class twenty-three years ago. Kara, too." He sighed. "Kara. God." He rubbed a hand over his face and looked down at Tommy sleeping on his chest.

"I tried so hard not to love you, for her sake, for your sake, hell, for my own sake. You two got together, got married, I had boyfriends, shit, I might have even loved Drake a little bit, but there was always you. You were always there in the back of my mind. I don't think I ever really fell for anyone because none of them were you."

He reached down and softly brushed the fringe off Tommy's forehead. He pressed his lips between Tommy's brows. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a coward and I can't say all this when you're awake to hear it. I'm taking the easy way out, I know. I just love you so damn much that it would kill me if this was all gone. And I don't mean this thing or whatever it is that we do on these trips, I'm afraid I'd lose your friendship and I don't think I could live without that. You and Kara mean the world to me."

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "God, Kara. It's always so awkward around her those first few weeks after one of our trips. I look at her and all I feel is guilt because I've been with you. I love her like a sister and yet we keep doing this to her. But I can't help it. All year long I hang with you guys and sometimes it's all I can do to keep myself from reaching out and brushing the hair off your forehead. I have to clench my fist to keep from doing it. The need to touch you like that makes me physically ache. It's like I'm burning under my skin. And then we finally get to one of these trips and you pull me in, like you have your own gravitational field and I'm sucked right in every single time. And the need is met for a while."

Adam sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't want it or that I regret it, I just wish…" His voice trailed off as he watched Tommy sleep.

"I just wish things were different somehow. Wish that in some parallel universe you were mine and Kara was our best friend and none of this had to hurt so badly."

He leaned down and kissed Tommy on the forehead again. "I love you, Tommy Joe, and that is never going to change. Don't worry about me, I'll figure out a way to deal with this. We may have to stop taking these trips for a while, fuck knows I don't want to do that because you're like a fucking drug and I'm addicted to you. But the one thing I did say that night that wasn't a lie? I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all."  
He bent down and kissed Tommy on the lips. "I love you," he whispered.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~

 _Present Day_

"Love you…" Adam whispered.

Tommy squeezed Adam's hand, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks at Adam's words. He kissed Adam's fingers.

"I love you, too. Oh God, Adam, I love you so much. And Kara, I love her too, I hate that this is going to hurt her, she's everything to me. Our life together has been amazing and I've had some of the best times of my life with her. But she doesn't make me burn like you do."

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know what to do Adam. You have to wake up and help me. I love Kara. Remember that night, the one before my wedding when you asked which one of you I was in love with? I think deep down, no, I **know** deep down, the answer was you. I was just too scared to admit it. It's always been you. I would never risk what I have with Kara for anything, not for anyone else. I love her too damn much. But you, you're in my soul. That week that we have together every year, it feels like I’m finally home. Please come back to me, Adam. I love you and I can't live without you. Please."

He bent his head down, pressing their joined hands to his forehead, tears slipping down and wetting Adam's wrist.

"Tommy?"

Tommy didn't move, thinking he'd imagined Adam's voice.

"Tommy?" Adam rasped again.

Tommy's head shot up this time, brown eyes meeting blue. "Adam?"

"Hey," Adam said softly.

Tommy's eyes lit up. "Adam!" he cried out joyfully, throwing his arms awkwardly around Adam's neck. "Are you really awake?"

Adam tried to pat Tommy's back, the IV yanking painfully on his arm. "Yeah. Um, what happened?"

Tommy pulled back, suddenly realizing he was in the bed with Adam. "Um," he tried to pull away but Adam's arm tightened on his back. "You were in a car accident."

"Adam!"

They both looked up as the door burst open and Leila and Kara came in, both with tears in their eyes. Suddenly, Adam found himself engulfed in hugs and Tommy slipped off the bed, letting Leila and Kara both have time with Adam. He stood off to the side, chewing his nail nervously. He looked up again as a nurse came in followed by a doctor.

"I know you're all happy to see Mr. Lambert awake, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave for a few minutes so I can talk to him and give him a brief examination. You can all come back in as soon as I'm done, I promise."

Adam glared at the doctor as Leila and Kara both kissed him on the cheek. Leila swiped her thumb over the lipstick mark she left, tears rolling unchecked down her face. "I love you, sweetheart."

He smiled at her, squeezed her hand and let it go. Kara leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm glad you're awake," she whispered.

He looked around for Tommy and frowned when it became obvious he'd left the room. Kara looked at him sympathetically. "Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll make sure he gets his ass back in here, I promise."

Adam looked at her quizzically and she just gave him a sad smile and left the room.

Tommy stood at the window watching until Kara and Leila joined him out in the hall. Leila looked at the two of them. "I'm just going to go get some coffee. I'll be back in a few minutes." She kissed both of them on the cheek and then walked off down the hall.

Tommy could hardly meet Kara's eyes, fearing the judgment, hurt, and betrayal he'd find there. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

She reached out and cupped his cheek. "I know."

They stood in silence for several long moments.

"Tommy, I knew."

He looked up, finally meeting her green eyes and saw only sadness and love there. "You knew what?"

"I knew a long time ago that you two loved each other. I would've had to have been blind not to have seen it. You could see it in the way you talked to each other, in the way you touched, and in the way you looked at each other. You never really looked at me like that, not the way you look at him. I was just too selfish to admit it. I let us get caught up in the whole fairytale romance, childhood sweethearts, happily ever after thing. The expectation of all our friends and family, I just got caught up in it and went along with it, even though my heart knew it wasn't right. I think part of me thought if I believed in it hard enough it would be. But it never was, was it?"

Tommy's eyes filled with tears again. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"Shush, I'm not done. You have nothing to be sorry for. I do, not only did I let us get married when I knew damn well we shouldn't have –" She bit her lip nervously. "Tommy, I've – I've been having an affair."

Tommy gasped, feeling a bit like he'd been sucker punched in the chest. "What?"

"You know Sam? From my community arts class?"

Tommy nodded numbly.

"We've been seeing each other for a while now."

"How long?"

Kara bit her lip, looking down at the floor. "I met him before we got married but we've only been…it's been almost two years."

Tommy felt his stomach drop and his heart stuttered in his chest. "Two years?"

She nodded. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea about you and Adam, none. This wasn't to punish you or get even or anything, I just – I don't know. Tommy, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

Tommy clenched his fists, imagining Kara with another guy, but then he realized that he'd been doing the same thing for years with Adam and he let it go, chuckling softly. "We're quite the pair aren't we?"

Kara turned away to look at the window in front of them. "Yeah, I guess we are."

They stood there silently until Tommy's hand brushed hers. Their fingers entwined and Kara squeezed his hand as tears rolled silently down her face. Tommy tugged her hand until she collapsed into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Tommy. I'm so very sorry. I feel like I made all of us waste so much fucking time."

He stroked his hand through her blonde hair, cradling her against him. "It's not your fault. We all share the blame for this."

"What do we do now?" she asked through her tears.

Tommy sighed. "Honestly? I don't know. I mean, we've all got some things we're going to have to work through. There's more than enough hurt and betrayal to go around. We all might need a break from each other. I just don't know. I think in time though? I think we'll be okay." He pulled back and looked at her. "I love you, Kara, I always have."

She smiled tremulously. "You're just not in love with me."

He shook his head sadly. "Are you? Are you in love with me?"

She closed her eyes and then shook her head. "No. I'm not sure I ever really was, you know?" She opened her eyes again and looked at him, shame flooding her face.

He nodded.

"Oh, Tommy, we were all so stupid."

"I know."

They both looked up as the blinds were opened and the nurse waved them back into the room. They looked at each other and smiled before walking into the room hand in hand. Leila had already come back and together they listened as the doctor explained Adam's injuries all over again, said that now Adam was awake and talking that he was most likely out of the woods.

They were going to keep him in ICU one more night and then assuming he did fine, they'd move him to another floor in the morning. He warned them not to get Adam too excited and to let him get some rest. The nurse winked at them from behind his back and Tommy had to lower his head to hide the smile he had in the face of the doctor's stern manner.

Leila had a few more questions for the doctor and followed him out into the hall where they wouldn't bother Adam. When they were alone, Tommy and Kara looked at Adam who had noticed their joined hands and was now frowning, a look of overwhelming disappointment in his eyes. Instantly, Kara dropped Tommy's hand and went over to the bed. She sat down on the side, and tentatively reached out and brushed some hair off of Adam's forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know."

Adam's eyes went shiny with unshed tears and he pulled her into a hug, murmuring his own apologies. And then Tommy climbed back into the bed beside him, snuggled up to his side. Adam pulled away from Kara, looking back and forth between them in surprise. "But, I thought, you two –"

Kara's face went red and she laid her head down carefully on Adam's bandaged shoulder. And then she climbed into the bed on that side. It was a tight fit but somehow she managed it, her head resting on the pillow beside his. They looked at each other, her green eyes boring into his blue ones. "Do you love him?"

Adam risked a quick glance at Tommy, whose head was resting on his opposite shoulder. Tommy looked up at him, those dark brown eyes making him feel like he was drowning. He turned back to Kara and nodded. "Yeah, I do, more than anything. I love him."

"So do I," she said softly. "And more than anything I want him to be happy."

Adam nodded, biting at his lower lip nervously.

"And you make him happy."

Adam's eyes widened and he saw hers go shiny with tears. "Are you – are you okay with this?"

She nodded and leaned over, kissing him on the forehead. "Yeah, but let's not talk now. Can we just pretend for tonight that none of this is going on, that we're all little again and just rest? Please?"

Adam turned to look at Tommy who smiled at him and nodded. He turned back to Kara. "Yeah, I'd like that."

She smiled, carefully snuggled into his side, mindful of his injuries.

"I'd put my arms around you if I could," he said softly.

"I know."

She slid her hand across his waist, meeting Tommy's hand. Their fingers twined together and Adam settled back into the bed. By the time Leila came back to the room the three of them were asleep. She was standing there watching, tears rolling down her face when the nurse walked up.

"It's the damndest thing. His vitals were all over the place until they got in bed with him. Now, they're as normal as they could be. I've never seen anything like it before."

Leila smiled. "We called them the three musketeers when they were little. Things really haven't changed. Do you mind if I go in and just sit?"

The nurse raised an eyebrow. "With the two of them in his bed? You sitting in there would be the most normal thing in that room. Go right ahead. Let me know if I can get you anything, okay?"

"Thanks." Leila smiled at her and went into the room, sat down in the chair and watched the three of them sleep.

 ****

~~~~~*****~~~~~


	5. Chapter 5

  
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****

Part Five

 **Epilogue**

 _One Year Later_

Tommy was fussing with his bow tie, growling in frustration as he stood in front of the mirror. Adam laughed and walked over from where he was finishing his own tie and batted Tommy's hands away. "Let me do it. You're just going to mess it up and get all pissy."

"Am not."

Adam quirked an eyebrow at him. Tommy rolled his eyes and dropped his hands to his sides. Adam smiled triumphantly and expertly tied the bow tie. They stood side by side looking in the mirror. They both had on black tuxes with ties and waistcoats in a muted metallic gray.

"Fuck, you look amazing," Tommy sighed.

Adam smiled. "So do you." He turned and glanced at the clock. "We better hurry, it's almost time."

Tommy nodded nervously. He fidgeted with the sleeves of his tux until Adam grabbed his hand. "You look gorgeous. Now stop it. You know how she gets."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Don't I know it."

Adam took one more look in the mirror before turning to Tommy. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Adam held out his hand and Tommy took it and they walked out the door together. They stood outside the closed doors holding hands until Kara came out. Both of them smiled as she approached. This time around she was wearing a simple shell colored silk sheath that showed off her shoulders and her curves perfectly. She hugged both of them.

"You look gorgeous," Tommy breathed against her ear.

"Thanks, so do you," she whispered back.

They both blinked back tears as she turned to Adam. They stared at each other for a moment and then he pulled her into a tight embrace. "You look amazing."

She hugged him hard. "So do you. That tux is perfect."

"Thanks."

She looked at the two of them. "So, are we ready to do this?"

Adam and Tommy both held out their elbows to her. She smiled and linked arms with them. They could hear Clarke's Trumpet Voluntary playing just inside. The doors opened and the three of them were walking down the aisle. Everyone stood, turning and looking at them with smiles on their faces.

They slowly walked down the aisle until they reached the first pew where Adam and Tommy's parents were seated with Kara's mom. Kara stopped and kissed her mom and the three of them continued to the front. They listened to the officiant speak, greeting everyone and welcoming them to the ceremony. Finally, he turned to look at Adam, Kara, and Tommy.

"Who gives this woman away in holy matrimony?"

Adam and Tommy looked at each other and grinned. "We do."

They each kissed Kara on the cheek, Tommy joined her hand with Sam's hand and he and Adam went to join their parents in the first row.

~*~*~*~

Adam and Tommy sat at a table off by themselves watching Kara dance with Sam. Adam ran his finger around the rim of the glass. Tommy shifted in his seat. "Now who's the one thinking too much?"

Adam smiled ruefully. "I was just thinking about where we all were a year ago. Who would have thought so much would change in such a short amount of time."

Tommy ducked his head and smiled. "It was a lot of work that's for sure."

"Yeah, but it was worth it," Adam said softly.

And Tommy had to agree. He turned back to watch Kara and Sam dancing as his own thoughts drifted back over the last year.

He and Kara had gotten a divorce, he'd moved out and gotten his own place. Things between them had been strained, of course, but not hateful. She was still his best friend. In fact, a few months after the divorce was finalized, Kara and Sam had gotten into a fight and she'd come over to Tommy's apartment. At first Tommy hadn't been sure whether to get out a pint of ice cream for her or wrap her up in his arms and let her cry. She'd railed for a bit and then collapsed into his arms, saying that all she wanted was her best friends to talk to but she was still mad at them. He'd laughed, stroked her back and she had started laughing too. From then on, things between the two of them had gotten better as they settled into a new kind of relationship as friends.

As for Adam, the three of them had kind of taken a break from each other, each going their separate ways for a while. Adam had to spend quite a bit of time recuperating from the accident and even though they'd wanted to be with him and help him, they'd agreed to give him his space. Not seeing Adam had hurt like hell, but it had been necessary. Adam had needed to forgive Tommy for not admitting his feelings sooner and forgive himself for the same thing. Tommy had been right when he'd told Kara there was enough blame and betrayal to go around.

They hadn't started seeing each other again until Adam'd had lunch with Kara about six months after he was released from the hospital. Adam had told Tommy later that they'd spent a good portion of it crying in each others' arms over everything that had gone on. She'd told him all about Sam and told him he needed to go see Tommy because he was miserable. Adam had acknowledged he was just as miserable and had called Tommy that night. The rest as they say was history. He and Tommy had been inseparable ever since. Sam had proposed to Kara and she had said yes.

And now here they were at Kara and Sam's wedding.

"Tommy? Tommy!"

Tommy shook his head to see Adam looking at him with concern. "What?"

"Kara's on her way over, I think you need to go dance with her."

Tommy looked up, sure enough Sam was leading her right over to them. He stood up, wiped his hands on his pants a bit nervously and smiled up at them. Sam handed Kara over to him.

"Are you taking care of our girl?" Tommy asked as he took Kara's hand.

Sam nodded. "Best I can."

Tommy laughed as Kara rolled her eyes and pulled him out on to the dance floor. They danced in silence for a moment until it became clear that Tommy was staring at Adam over Kara's shoulder. "Does he make you happy?"

Tommy pulled back and met her eyes. He looked back over at Adam who was busy talking to his mom and Tommy's mom. His face broke out into a huge smile as he turned back to Kara. "Yeah, he does."

She pulled him in close, caressed the hair at the nape of his neck and whispered into his ear. "Good. I'm glad. You deserve to be happy. Both of you do." She kissed the side of his neck and he tightened his arms around her.

"Does Sam make you happy?"

She nodded against him, too overcome to answer.

"I'm happy for you," he whispered against the skin of her cheek as he kissed her. "I'm really happy for you."

She pulled back, her eyes shiny with tears. "Guess this means no more sleepovers, huh?"

He laughed. "Nope, although you're always welcome to come over to our place, anytime you want."

"Your place?"

Tommy blushed. "Oops. I wasn't supposed to say anything yet. Adam's gonna kill me. We didn't want to intrude on your special day. We're moving in together."

"Oh, I'm so glad. I'm thrilled for the two of you. And if Sam and I ever fight and I need some space, I’m totally coming over."

"Good. You know, you can always bring Sam, too, if you want. We should have you guys over for dinner or something. I'll leave that up to you and Adam, you know I was never any good at that stuff."

Kara threw her head back and laughed. "I'll talk to Adam, we'll plan something for after the honeymoon. Speaking of, I should probably go ask him to dance. Thank you, Tommy, for being my best friend, my husband, for so much."

Tommy hugged her hard. "I should be thanking you. You're the one that gave me a safe place to figure out who I was, never once judged me for falling in love with Adam. I can't think of any other woman that would be as gracious as you were. I love you, Kara, I always will."

He kissed her cheek again, twirled her out, kissed her hand, and sent her off to Adam. He went back and sat down at the table and watched the two of them dance. Adam was a really good dancer and the two of them together made it look effortless. He noticed everyone in the room was watching them and he was sure it was because of the dancing not the history. Tommy sat back and just smiled at the two people he loved the most.

~*~*~

"You look beautiful tonight," Adam said to Kara as they danced.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

Adam laughed. "Well, it is me."

Kara rolled her eyes and then focused a stern look on him. "Do you love him?"

"Who, Tommy?"

She glared at him. "Of course Tommy. Who else would I be asking about? Do you love him?"

Adam saw the serious look on her face and immediately sobered. "I do.  
More than life itself. He was the one that brought me back. He saved me from myself."

She levered a measured look at him for several seconds before  
nodding. "You know if you hurt him –"

Adam started shaking his head vigorously. "You don't even have to tell me. You'll cut off my balls and serve them to me for breakfast or something equally horrible."

She smiled at him, her green eyes twinkling mischievously. "Just so we understand each other."

"Fuck, you're scary when you're angry," he shook his head ruefully.

She laughed. "How do you think I kept you two safe all those years?"

"You kept us safe?" he teased, quirking an eyebrow before pulling her in close. "I promise I won't hurt him. I promise I'll take good care of his heart."

"Thanks. I'm going to hold you to that," she whispered back, kissing his cheek. She cupped his face and looked at him tenderly. "Now, stop wasting time with me when you've got that gorgeous man over there to dance with."

He kissed her on the forehead, squeezed her hand and turned to leave. He turned back when she called out to him. "Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember what we talked about. No more going away once a year. You two can do anything now."

He nodded and jogged over to Tommy. Tommy looked up as he approached.

Adam extended his hand. "May I have this dance?"

~*~*~

Tommy ducked his head, smiling as a pleasurable heat rose up in his cheeks. He took Adam's hand and let him pull him up and onto the dance floor. Adam led him around until they ended up laughing next to Kara and Sam.

"So where are you two going for your trip this year?" Sam asked over the music.

"Don't know," Tommy called back just as Kara twirled them around so she could talk to Adam.

"Adam." She glared at him.

Adam glared back and then his face broke out into a smile. "Don't worry, I got it."

He danced them away from Kara and Sam off to the side of the dance floor.

Tommy stared at him in confusion. "What the fuck, Adam?"

Adam shushed him, kissing him softly. "I already have plans for our trip."

"You do?"

"I do."

"Since when?"

"Since that lunch with Kara."

Tommy frowned at him. "That long?"

Adam nodded his head.

"So where are we going?"

Adam tightened his arms around him and smiled. "You are going to get a stamp in your passport."

Tommy quirked an eyebrow. "I am?"

"You are. I'm taking you to Prague. I think you'll love it there and it has some of the most gorgeous architecture."

"So, that's where we're going for our yearly trip?"

Adam shook his head. "Not yearly."

"What?"

"Not yearly, not anymore. We can go whenever we want, depending on work of course."

Tommy stared at him for a moment as realization that they were free dawned on him and when it finally did, he wrapped his arms around Adam tight, holding on as if he never wanted to let go. "I love you, Adam," he whispered.

Adam kissed the top of his head. "I know, and I want to show you the world and show the world just how much I love you."

As the clink of silverware against glasses rose in a crescendo beckoning Kara and Sam to share a kiss, Adam leaned down and captured Tommy's lips with his own, sharing a kiss right along with them.

 ****

THE END

  



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